Thank you Mischief,

I was a bit worried that by visiting these forums that I would read others stories and somehow it would make my own condition worse (eg start to adopt the behaviours of others that were negative reactions to sitautions I hadn't previously had a problem with) so I'm very glad that the first response to our specific problem is a very positive one

I have been inspired by your attitude, and that of those in the triumphs section, and it is very empowering to know that I am not alone. The more I look at it objectively, the more I realise that this is something that is just in my head and that to conquer it I need to change my attitude to it. It is not a problem that I have, there is nothing wrong with me. I have realised that when I am in a stressful situation my brain makes me think that I have something wrong with me and I am too stressed to pull back and see how ridiculous my thoughts are.

I've decided that today is the first day of my life. I cannot remember a time where I haven't been affercted by *v and on reflection it seems ridiculous to me that I have had this problem for over 20 years. From now on I will not let this stupid thing waste any more of my time or allow me to self sabotage the opportunities I am very fortunate enough to have. I can't wait to see what life will be like without it.

I have previously tried the self hypnosis recordings and they did work temporarily for me (eg I would be fine for the rest of the day) but I didn't habitually listen to them every day like it was recommended so the negative thoughts would seep back in. I also didn't go into it with a mindset like yours, so I'm committing to doing it again properly- listening to the tapes to aid myself with a good coping tool and adopt a mindset that knocks over these thoughts whenever they appear in my head. At the moment my biggest fear is the thought of the embarrassment I would feel it if it did happen. But then I realise that because of this fear I haven't *v'd for over 10 years- so I can control it! And if it were to happen, whats the worst that could happen? The more I think about it, the more I realise that even if it were to happen, the worst case scenario would just be what I think people would think of me, so as long as I don't really care about that then why would I worry about it?

It is all very well to say all of this now while I am sitting comfortably at home and I am not in my class about to present. But I have a hunch that if I keep thinking these determined positive thoughts, actively ensure that I think of them one, twice or many many times a day until the situation that invokes this *n response, then I might just be ok... I know from previous situations that as soon as I am out of the situation (eg I have left the class) the feelings disappear so it is clear that I don't have a *sv, it is just my clever body preparing to fight or flight. I just need to keep reminding my brain to stop preparing to fighting me!