The 'Let's Get Better' Emetophobia Support Group

[chris_alice]

If anyone is interested in participating in an online support group whose main focus will be on getting better, I created a brand new site here http://forum4.aimoo.com/LetsGetBetter and you're invited to join.

I panic just as much, if not more, than any person here so I'm not condemning anyone who panic posts all the time, but my personal desire is to be part of a support group where we help each other get better instead of focussing so much on the scary stuff. I sincerely do not want to live the rest of my life in fear of the world in which I live and I want to be able to interact with other people without treating them like they (might) have the plague. I find that if I keep my mind on the positive, I do better. But if I marinate my brain on all my awful body symptoms and who may have norovirus at any given time, I not only feel a lot worse but I do a lot worse overall.

I want to get better. I don't want to remain crippled by emetophobia. And I don't believe that trying to find a way to avoid every bacteria/germ/virus is going to help set me free of this bondage.

[jess0930]

Is this sight making it harder for you to cope and get better? Sometimes I do find myself freaking myself out even more if I read someone else's panic post. Good job at doing all you can to stay positive!

[rileysmom]

I tried nine ways to Sunday to sign up but could not get it to accept those four letters. I don't see a mobile link either?

[jess0930]

I tried to sign up too and it didn't work.

[KaydeeJayde]

I'm having issues posting a reply to any thread. I already had an account, it seems.

[chris_alice]

Not sure why you're having problems? A couple of people joined no problem. Maybe you clicked on "join" instead of "sign up" ?

Join is for people who already have an existing aimoo profile - they can just join my group. People who don't have an aimoo profile at all, have to register (create a profile). Here's the link to that http://forum4.aimoo.com/LetsGetBette...egandjoin.html

If you're still having problems, send me a PM here and I'll try to help you out.

[chris_alice]

Is this sight making it harder for you to cope and get better? Sometimes I do find myself freaking myself out even more if I read someone else's panic post. Good job at doing all you can to stay positive!

Well, it doesn't seem like anybody here is interested in getting better. Obviously some are, but there's almost zero discussion about that. And yes, I'm finding that bombarding myself with all the negativity on this site screws with any hope I have of recovery. Some people post things that I had never thought of until they post it... and then I'm left with a NEW thing to fear that I didn't have before reading that particular post and have no way of getting rid of now that it's in my brain. And sure, you can say, skip the panic posts. But if I skip the panic posts, I won't be reading anything on this site, and it's not always clear that it is anything that will affect me negatively until after I've read it.

[Kinetic]

Well, it doesn't seem like anybody here is interested in getting better. Obviously some are, but there's almost zero discussion about that. And yes, I'm finding that bombarding myself with all the negativity on this site screws with any hope I have of recovery. Some people post things that I had never thought of until they post it... and then I'm left with a NEW thing to fear that I didn't have before reading that particular post and have no way of getting rid of now that it's in my brain. And sure, you can say, skip the panic posts. But if I skip the panic posts, I won't be reading anything on this site, and it's not always clear that it is anything that will affect me negatively until after I've read it.

The bits I bolded, are spot on. I couldn't have put it better.

[catlynn]

Maybe some of us can't afford the therapy required to get better. I don't think this website and forum can cure anyone. If we can't afford it, doe's that mean we don't want to get
better? This is getting ridiculous.

[Kinetic]

There is nothing wrong with this website, but at the end of the day recovery is a personal journey. I'm sure there are free psychologists in your area, I know here it is possible. Self help books and guides are another option (and books do not cost a fortune). Even so, therapy itself requires effort from yourself, you can't expect them to cure you - you gotta cure yourself. Its why its usually referred to as a cathartic experience.

Not trying to be argumentative catlyn but chris is just trying to suggest that this site is a hub for people who share the same issues, and sometimes it can be counterproductive to engage in other people's problems when you are trying to recover. Its nice knowing that we are not alone, but its important to take care of yourself, thats all.

[chris_alice]

Maybe some of us can't afford the therapy required to get better. I don't think this website and forum can cure anyone. If we can't afford it, doe's that mean we don't want to get
better? This is getting ridiculous.

Suggesting/encouraging recovery is ridiculous?

If you're waiting to be able to get/afford therapy before you make an effort to get better, you're going to be very disappointed when and if you ever do get therapy. I can tell you from personal experience that therapy alone does very little, if anything, to cure this phobia. I have wasted a lot of money and time in different therapists' offices doing different kinds of therapy and I'm still as emetophobic as ever. You know why? Because even the best therapist in the world cán't change my resistence to change until I WANT to change. See, I wanted to get rid of emetophobia while holding on to all my emetophobic behaviours and rituals. That's like an alcoholic wanting to be sober but still wanting to drink. Can't happen. That's why I think peer support aimed at recovery is so important. That's why I started a support group that focuses mainly on recovery. Because I strongly believe that a handful of emetophobics who seriously want to get better and encourage each other to get better can have a much better result than all the professional therapy in the world.

This website isn't "bad". Nobody here is "bad". But all we do here is support each other to stay emetophobic. And if you WANT TO continue being emetophobic, then that's your business. But why is there such a strong resistence to anyone who dares to suggest we shift the focus more towards recovery while allowing all the panic that's going to happen anyway?

[chris_alice]

Not trying to be argumentative catlyn but chris is just trying to suggest that this site is a hub for people who share the same issues, and sometimes it can be counterproductive to engage in other people's problems when you are trying to recover. Its nice knowing that we are not alone, but its important to take care of yourself, thats all.

That's right.

[KaydeeJayde]

Figured it out. I'd "signed up" to aimoo, but I hadn't joined the forum. Awesome!

[jess0930]

Well, it doesn't seem like anybody here is interested in getting better. Obviously some are, but there's almost zero discussion about that. And yes, I'm finding that bombarding myself with all the negativity on this site screws with any hope I have of recovery. Some people post things that I had never thought of until they post it... and then I'm left with a NEW thing to fear that I didn't have before reading that particular post and have no way of getting rid of now that it's in my brain. And sure, you can say, skip the panic posts. But if I skip the panic posts, I won't be reading anything on this site, and it's not always clear that it is anything that will affect me negatively until after I've read it.

I agree. Some people do some people don't. I am not saying you have to skip the panic posts because ya about 95% are panic posts. haha. I am one of the ones that wants to get better and thats why I don't post panic posts. I usually just get on to give others advice. I want to beat it not feed it. I do like that you made another site to go to. But I did find that I am having trouble getting on. I got through the entire sign up process and at the end where it wants you to click on where you want to go anytime I clicked it wouldn't let me through even tho it said I was successfully signed in. Maybe it doesn't like me.

[~LiLi~]

I joined because I truly do want to support those who are serious about getting better, however, I think that those who are not in that place yet need support too, so I'll post here occasionally as well.

I think what we all need to realize is that none of us were born ready to push ourselves to get better. I'm sure we all struggled with "just living with it" for years before making the decision to kick emet's ass, so we can't discard the people who aren't in that place yet. They will get there, but not without a little help.

[chris_alice]

beat it not feed it

I love that! lol Can I use it as the motto for the new support group?

I got through the entire sign up process and at the end where it wants you to click on where you want to go anytime I clicked it wouldn't let me through even tho it said I was successfully signed in.

Not sure I understand.... do you mean when it gives you all those choices after you create a profile? Like, edit profile, back to forum, etc? Close that screen and try signing in like a regular member - like you do here.

[KellyBelly]

I love the idea of having a place where we can go to focus on nothing but trying to beat this. That being said, I view the "help and support" forum on here as an invaluable asset for me in dealing with the inevitable panic attacks that come with this phobia. While my parents try to be supportive, they don't truly know what it's like, and my friends don't really understand it at all beyond "I'm afraid of *v". Also, I'm away at college right now, so knowing that there are people available online who can help me when I'm really needing it, honestly makes me feel less alone in this whole thing. College has been a huge transition for me, with not always having my parents around to help with my panic. I'm really glad that I found this site, because I know there are people who I can just vent to, who will understand exactly what I'm going through and not make me feel crazy.
I totally agree though that for me, reading other people's panic posts oftentimes makes me feel more anxious. I try to reciprocate the help as much as I can though!
I'll definitely check out your new site, and here's to hoping we can all beat this together!!

[jess0930]

I love that! lol Can I use it as the motto for the new support group?


Not sure I understand.... do you mean when it gives you all those choices after you create a profile? Like, edit profile, back to forum, etc? Close that screen and try signing in like a regular member - like you do here.

Haha yes of course you can use that. Yes thats what I meant. I will definitely try to sign in. But ya that's what I was talking about.

[catlynn]

Chris Alice, I just mean't saying some do not want to get better is ridiculous. Nothing wrong with your website. As others have said, we are all at different stages of recovery and
may have other issues as well. I'm just not good with putting my thoughts down. Not wanting to argue. Maybe we all could use a little discretion.

[chris_alice]

I'll definitely check out your new site, and here's to hoping we can all beat this together!!

Great! And I really believe that if we commit to getting better and encourage/support each other, we CAN beat this. Or at least get to a point where we control it instead of it controls us.

[chris_alice]

Haha yes of course you can use that. Yes thats what I meant. I will definitely try to sign in. But ya that's what I was talking about.

Oh good... I'll put that right under the title lol. Thanks!

[chris_alice]

Chris Alice, I just mean't saying some do not want to get better is ridiculous. Nothing wrong with your website. As others have said, we are all at different stages of recovery and
may have other issues as well. I'm just not good with putting my thoughts down. Not wanting to argue. Maybe we all could use a little discretion.

Right, everyone wants to get better. But how many are willing to do anything to get better? That's my point. None of us are going to wake up one morning with our emetophobia magically gone. We have to do more than WANT to get better, we have to be willing to at least consider doing things in a way that's conducive to recovery instead of continuing to do things that feed the fear. Otherwise, wanting to recover is no more than a pipe dream.

I want to be financially secure. But if I don't get out there and work for what I want, it won't happen. I suppose there is a very miniscule chance that I could win the lottery and will never have to work.... but how realistic is that?

[Whisper447]

I just joined. I decided that this year is the year for recovery! Also... I might have met a boy *blush*

[catlynn]

Gotcha, chris alice. Would be nice to win the lottery though!!

[Mamafear]

I think all Catlynn was sayingf is, "Great idea, but just because everyone didn't race to join up does not mean they don't want to get better at all, it simply means they've a different path to you. I agree with Catlynn but I think you're doing a innovative, wonderful thing which will suit many people., and I hope it goes well! X

[Sparklylikeaholiday]

Is there a way to make some of the forums private to members only? As a non-member, I can read the threads and I feel much more comfortable posting in members only forums.

[Sparklylikeaholiday]

Also, the site seems really really slow for me... not sure if that's on my end or their end... but I don't seem to have a problem with other sites. Not sure!

[chris_alice]

Yes, I can add a private forum. Not sure why it's slow for you - it's fine for me.