Quote Originally Posted by nathanraile View Post
Hi, I had to leave school early today unfortunately, and I need to tomorrow to get my braces on. Anyways, I really want to have a good birthday, (it's on may 5th) and I really want to get this phobia over with ASAP so I can do what I wanted for my birthday. I had completely planned it out. First: Go to Cinnabon for breakfast, Second: Get Subway and Bubble Tea for lunch, and go to Din Tai Fung for Dinner, and have a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake for dessert. BUT, this phobia had to come in at just the right f**king time to ruin it, because now, I barely even eat ANYTHING. I just want to have a normal birthday. I remember all the good times of staying up all night with my 2 friends playing GameCube, making prank calls to McDonalds and etc. But I don't think that's very possible anymore. This phobia has gotten so bad I have this really excessive use of swearing (you might have noticed it). I want my birthday to be good, but I don't want to over do anything and have to send my only two friends home and think that I'm weirder than a clown. Wow. I just think I need to calm down. I've been thinking about becoming home-schooled instead, but my brain makes me do all of this crazy sh*t. For example: sometimes when I have a panic attack, I yell stuff like "Kill Me" and "I wish I was dead". I can barely spend time alone without my mom or else I panic really bad and curl up into a fetal position, and then I try to get a hold of my mom in any way possible. I have to make up all these fake excuses to go to the office and call my mom, because I don't want any of my classmates to know. I really need help.
Having a Phobia is nasty to deal with and also being young makes things a whole lot worse. However Im assuming your Mom knows about your Phobia which is a start, however speak to a health care professional about what you are experiencing. I will admit that they dont 'cure' your anxiety and phobia, but they will teach you how to live with it and how to cope when things get tough. I know when I am at work and I start feel anxious, I go for a walk around the office just to chill. Find something to keep your mind of your anxiety and it will eventually pass. But definitely see your doctor about your anxiety, believe me they are there to help.