There is hope!

[peachykeen]

Wow, bizarre to be back here after so many years! I was a fairly active member of these board around 2006-2007 if I remember correctly. This week I've felt compelled to come back and share my story, and let everyone here know that there IS hope that you can and someday will recover from this horrible phobia.

Back when I was active here I had two very small children. I was married - unhappily. My life revolved around this phobia - I was afraid to take my kids anywhere for fear they'd pick up The Bug. I wasn't enjoying them like I knew I wanted to and should. I was miserable in my marriage - and I take a good portion of the blame in my failing marriage, because I know this phobia made me miserable to live with. My outlook on life was bleak, my happiness was next to none, and I lived every day in fear of IT happening to myself, my husband, or my children.

I tried hypnotherapy with little success. My kids got older. I had a third child, and my oldest started kindergarten. My marriage continued to deteriorate, and I filed for divorce that spring.

I moved out of our family home with my children, my ex-husband having visitation every other weekend. I realized then that I was on my own, in charge, but completely responsible - I had no backup if my children became ill. It was terrifying. But I stepped it up....I got stronger. I did, because I had no choice. And IT happened - with two children in school that fall, it was bound to happen. They caught the bug, and I freaked out....but I took care of them. I made it, I survived....and after the fact, I realized it wasn't the worst thing in the world that could happen.

One weekend it sort of hit me - I was FINALLY in control of my life. ME, I was in charge. I did a lot of soul searching, and thinking about my phobia. I had always flirted with a fear of v*, but I'd lived my life without it taking complete hold on me. I had gone to college, I'd lived in the dorms, I partied with my friends, and never really thought about v* unless it was in my face - but I wasn't afraid in my day to day life. It wasn't until I began having problems in my marriage that everything with this phobia really blew up. It wasn't until I felt like I had no control over my life that this phobia got ugly. It was like my mind had decided Ok...you're not in charge here, of anything. Let's focus on this one thing - this one thing is something that you can TRY to control. And things just spun out of control.

That was a healing weekend. Things started to come into focus and make sense. So I threw myself head long into my life - with the mindset that I and only I am the person in control of my life. Over time I noticed that my phobia was starting to slip away, being replaced with other more important things. I found someone I enjoyed spending time with....eventually it turned into more, and I realized that I had found love again, someone I was much more compatible with. Someone who also has three children. We got married almost two years ago, and have all six of the kids in our home the majority of the time. It's loud, and crazy, and so much fun. I love the life I've created for myself.

This past week has been challenging to say the least - but challenging in a normal, regular old mom way, not in a phobic way. Yes, my friends, for a week now the horrible bug has been working through the children. It's probably the worse one I've seen - I had to take my four year old to the ER over the weekend for fluids and meds because he was SO ill for so long. And not once did I panic....not once did my heart beat even a little faster. All of my old ways are gone - I remember not eating for a week if one of my kids had It, because I wanted an empty stomach in case I got It. Yesterday I was eating a sandwich - holding it in one hand and holding a bucket in the other for my actively ill child. I ate pizza last night! It just doesn't even phase me in the least any more. I haven't gone through gallons of bleach, my hands aren't raw and bleeding from washing.

I am better. I can say with 100% confidence that I'm completely cured of this phobia. I'm living the life I always hoped I'd have, but didn't think I could. It's amazing - locked in this phobia, there's so much we miss. It feels so amazing to not waste 51 weeks of every year wondering if It will happen today....and even if It does happen today, I can still enjoy this day. I can enjoy all 52 weeks of the year, and I do.

My hope is that everyone on this website can get to the place I am. For me, the key was finding the courage to make the changes in my life that put ME in control. Being the person to run my life was what needed to happen for me to recover. I'd be more than happy to message with anyone here, and offer support or answer any question you might have. This life is worth living - I was such a lost cause and worst case scenario, and I've BEAT it. You can too.

[skippy88]

wow your story has made me have a big smile on my face just to here there is hope out there i am so happy for you i myself am in my worst with it i have had the phobia for 6 years now and through it i have a number of health problems i wont ramble on but if you would like to here a bit if my story i have put a post up thank you for sharing your story i no it will help alot of people on here

[chris_alice]

We need to hear more success stories - thank you for taking the time to post yours!

[Miss_Pink24]

This is a great post! Thank you so much for sharing your story. So nice to hear someone's success at overcoming this fear, there is hope out there that it can be done. And all by yourself too. Good for you! Amazing.

[Tonster]

Great story!, but I dont understand what you 'did' to get better? I weekend of soul searching I feel wont work for me!

[jennjt]

Awesome. I think I get it... you had that "aha" moment... like, you made the decision to make a change (a mental and physical one) based on some deeper understanding of what was really going on behind your emetophobia. Way to go!! Very inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing that.

[Skittles04]

your so lucky to get yourself out of this phobia! loved reading your story, i'm so happy for you that you got your life back i have alot of other issue's entwined with the emetophobia, but the emet's the most debilitating, hopefully i have an 'aha' moment like you. thanks so much for posting this! xx

[peachykeen]

I think it was the massive life changes I made that allowed me to overcome this phobia. I was in a miserable marriage, an at home mom who was more or less suck in the life I had - I had no control over where my life was going, financially, emotionally I was locked in this phobia. I was scared to death, but found the courage to file for divorce. I faced a huge fear - three kids on my own - and did it. I rebuilt my life from the bottom up - and I made it a HAPPY, fulfilling life that I was in complete control of.

I think a lot of this phobia (for me at least, and to a few other emets I've had the pleasure of meeting and talking to) is about control. Not horribly unlike an eating disorder in some ways. Look at your life and how you feel about it. Overall, do you feel in control, or do you feel like a lot of your life is out of your hands? I felt like I had no control. But I could try to control this. I could try to control if my kids or I were exposed to it. I could at the very least try to control my own body, and if I'd allow myself to v* or not. And it was all in my head, so no one could remove that sense of control from me, no matter how warped and bizarre it was. But when I put myself in charge of my life and started to control it and where it was going, suddenly having to have control over allowing my body to v* or not seemed silly, and like a pretty big waste of my time.

I tried hypnotherapy. I tried exposure therapy. I tried those gimicky 'get rid of your phobia' things you order from late night tv. None of them worked. I'll compare getting rid of this phobia to when I quit smoking 11 years ago - I couldn't quit smoking until I honestly really wanted to, and then I did. I think for emets, it's hard to get to the point of really honestly wanting to get rid of this phobia. I mean, I know we all want to not have this phobia...but then our emet head kicks in, and we think 'If I get rid of this phobia and am ok with v* that means that one day I'll v*....I don't want to v*!' I hope that makes sense to read. If this helps even one person here I'll be happy.

[kthomas629]

Thank you for posting this story. I have to admit I too have made small steps towards taking control of my life and this phobia. I too have two young children and I have to be in control of them when they are sick, b/c I cannot expect my husband to come rushing home from work every time they have an illness, b/c I am afraid of them getting sick and I don't want to deal with it. The good news is, now I can. I can and I have, several times on my own. I did it b/c there were plenty of times I didn't have a choice there was no one but me and my kids were miserable. They didn't need a cowering, terrified wimp, the needed a Mom. I have been able to step up and deal with it. I just wish I was strong enough to face it on a personal level for myself that is still my fear that I need to overcome, the fear of MYSELF doing it. If I could beat that, I will have beaten the whole thing. I pray that maybe one day I will do that. But your story gives me hope. One question, since your story is recent and it's unrelated? How long did the bug generally last even for your sickest child?? I have one down with that AND strep throat at the same time and we had to take her to urgent care for fluids last night b/c she was dehydrated. Not v* anymore, but still having the d* and generally weak, run down, tummy pain, etc??? Thanks again!!!

[peachykeen]

We've got a BAD bug - the ER doc said it's most certainly noro. It's lasting about a week from first sickness to 100% better. My four year old has been the worst, he's been v* on and off since Saturday night, so five full days now, and he's still puny on the couch. It's been really rough, on Sunday before we went to the ER he had v* 30 or more times that day. The adults who have picked it up have had a very mild go of it - nausea, stomach cramping, and d*, but no v*.

[punchbuggy]

Inspiring stories like this are my fav. It confirms that we all can get to a place where we are in control of our thoughts . I hope you continue to live a fearless life and that things stay great for you.

[daffodil]

Thank you for sharing your story, peachykeen! Good for you. I'm glad you're doing so well!

[Greta1074]

Thank you thank you. Thank you.

Im inspired. I'm a mum and a stepmother. I too experienced almost everything you mentioned. I'm in CBT. It's working well but you managed to deal with this with out therapy. I dealt with my baby's virus and the a&e trips for dehydration. It's the older ones who freak me out. It nearly ended my marriage. There could be something to say about external events.

It's true about avoidance. We must face our fears. You stayed and got through it and recovered.