For you verteran moms...does it get easier?

[DMT]

Does it get easier to deal with stomach viruses in the house as your kids get older? Do you feel you handle it better the more you've gone through it? Ever since my kids started preschool 2 years ago I've been very anxious every day. I worry about taking them to school, I worry about them at night if they will wake up sick, my heart races every morning until I see they are ok...after almost completing 2 years of preschool my son brought home the first stomach virus. and my daughter got it 4 days later (they're twins). I was able to take care of them. But I was so panicked on the inside. I cleaned like an absolute nutcase, I was insane about how they wiped and washed their hands after even a week after they were better, I could sense my crazy anxiety affecting them. I've had so many borderline panic attacks. I am so completely overwhelmed thinking about them being in kindergarten full time next year, and how I will survive this every year after. I see that I did it, but that doesn't help. If you have older children, has it gotten easier, or are you still an anxious mess?

[kthomas629]

Yes it does get easier and you have proven that it will by the fact that the first time they got sick, you handled it. And the crazy cleaning isn't a bad thing in fact if more people were so diligent about cleaning when they are sick stuff wouldn't spread so much! You are a good mom and you will be fine!! You will also find that after a while, you will go from feeling so anxious to just feeling so bad that your babies are sick and you want to make them better. That Mom instinct is strong and it takes over when you need it most. Plus their immune systems will get stronger as they are exposed to more and as they grow. There will still be tough times, but you will survive them and come out stronger for it. Trust me, I have just been through a week like that I am speaking from true experience. Stay strong Mom you can do it!

[TryingToBeBrave]

Yes, it does get easier. AND they get more capable of making it to the bathroom, trash can, etc (which I imagine will get easier). I used to lay awake at night with nervousness that they would be sick, but I don't anymore. My daughter is in 1st grade this year, and my son will start K5 next year. After the first couple of times, I kind-of figured out what works for us...lots of blankets and towels on the floor and lots of trash cans everywhere...seriously, it probably looks hilarious to others, but it helps me know clean-up would be minimized.

[Erin80]

Good question! My oldest daughter is 4 and just started JK this year (we live in Canada, so they start a year early here). JK is full time, so she goes 5 days a week. I was DREADING sending her in September, and I was paranoid about the stomach virus coming home constantly. She got every other sickness out there except the stomach flu. We made it to February.....but then one night she woke up at midnight saying her tummy hurt. She couldn't go back to sleep, and just kept complaining, so I knew this was it. THANKFULLY, very very thankfully, my husband is not freaked out by stomach viruses at all.......so I went downstairs, grabbed the bucket, and told him to stay in bed with her. If she went back to sleep, he could come back, but if anything happened he needed to stay with her all night. At 1am she v'd, I felt AWFUL for her. Normally I run away from this kind of situation, but when it's my kids, I feel the urge to run TO them to help out as much as I can. We were both with her and sat with her, rubbing her back. My daughter is a major trooper, she did amazing, I wish I was as brave as her. She didn't even cry! It went on all night - every hour for 8 1/2 hrs, and it got to the point where she was just heaving.....and that was heart wrenching because she couldn't catch her breath, and that scared her. My hubby dealt with it all though, I just went in to see her after every episode, to reassure her and tell her how brave she is, and that it will all be over very soon. Since he was with her, she hit the bucket every time. My poor hubby came down with it 2 days later, not surprisingly since he was right beside her all night and the whole next day. Then my youngest daughter (she's 2) caught it 4 days later - she only v'd once thankfully, ON my hubby, but again, it barely phased him. I caught it the next day (no idea how), but I didn't v......probably because I had barely eaten since the whole thing started! I do go to bed every night anxious that it's going to happen again, but I need to try to get over that. It IS going to happen again, but hopefully not for at least another year. I'm almost positive it was noro since we all got it, and I know once you've had that, it's unlikely to get it again that year....so I keep telling myself that.

This was the second stomach flu to go through our house (first one was last January). I find it SO HARD to deal with with little kids. My husband has been here to help each time. I just feel SO bad for my kids watching them go through that. I don't think that part will ever go away, but I think as they get older, we can contain it more since they'll be able to make it to the washroom or in the bucket on their own, so maybe we won't all catch it.

[sdd]

It gets easier for a couple of reasons: 1) They catch it less often as they get older. It is rare for us to even have a sv go through our house 1 a year. It's been more like once every 2 to 3 years and usually only 1 or 2 of us catch it. Although we have a baby now, so this year has been worse. 2)They are easier to contain as they get older and it's less likely to spread to anyone else. You made it through and that proves you can do it. And everything will be ok, just like it was last time.

[Mamafear]

It definitely does get easierbecause their immune systems improve and when/if it does happen, it's into a receptacle. We've got older kids and a three y/o and the contrast is huge. I am struggling with the little one big time ans am forcing myself through it. Am sooooo looking forward to her being older!

[DMT]

It definitely does get easierbecause their immune systems improve and when/if it does happen, it's into a receptacle. We've got older kids and a three y/o and the contrast is huge. I am struggling with the little one big time ans am forcing myself through it. Am sooooo looking forward to her being older!

Hi Mamafear, how old are your older children? How often do they seem to get sick?

My kids just turned 5 a week ago, and they did amazingly well. Except for the first time in bed, they were able to get it in something so I didn't have to clean it up. So I do at least feel a little more in control than I was fearing it would be (since this IS all about control). But the germ factor in the house, being afraid of all the germs on them, feeling like nothing is sanitized enough, thinking about incubation periods, and feeling so traumatized by the end that I can't imagine doing this again it is just so unbearable. I figure our quota would be once a year once they're in school next year. I can't imagine coping with that right now, and I'm finding myself envious of parents with teenagers instead of little ones. I'm wishing their childhood away over this. The worst part of all is the ANTICIPATION of it all. When is it going to happen, to who, when will it happen again, etc. So I'm back in anticipation mode now.

[DMT]

It gets easier for a couple of reasons: 1) They catch it less often as they get older. It is rare for us to even have a sv go through our house 1 a year. It's been more like once every 2 to 3 years and usually only 1 or 2 of us catch it. Although we have a baby now, so this year has been worse. 2)They are easier to contain as they get older and it's less likely to spread to anyone else. You made it through and that proves you can do it. And everything will be ok, just like it was last time.

Thanks, SDD. It is comforting to hear that you've managed to escape it every year, and that it doesn't go through the whole house. It is just so hard when you're living in the moment with it. Time stands completely still. I'm still trying to formulate a plan for next time - if they should stay contained in their room or let them on the couch like I did this time. I don't want to traumatize them and make them feel worse while they're sick. But it was so hard to keep them away from each other (they're twins). I thought I did a great job cleaning and having my daughter wash her hands, keeping her out of their bathroom, etc and she got sick anyway. I hate that it was so out of my control.

[DMT]

Hi Erin80,
Sounds like you're on the same level as me. You can get them through it and cope, but it is so hard! And the anxiety is always there. Do you think you could handle it by yourself if your husband wasn't home? That's my big fear too, since I'm a SAHM. When my daughter got sick she woke up right after my husband had already left for work. I forced myself to deal with it and not call him to come home. I figure it's going to be that way each year. Sometimes I think about switching roles with him and going back to work. I wonder if that would help my anxiety if I knew he would be the main one dealing with the worst of it. But I'd still be afraid to even be in the house, so it probably wouldn't help much.

[DMT]

Hi Tryingtobebrave,
It's so reassuring to hear you are at least not experiencing the constant anxiety night after night, like I do even when they are well. I have been seeing a thearpist and he was all about having me find a way to be in control of the situation when they're sick. So I did have a plan in place that I followed and it worked out good. There wasn't much clean up involved (besides the ridiculous bleaching and sanitizing and hand washing and wanting to burn the clothes we were all wearing the whole week!) but they were good about knowing when it was going to happen and not making a mess. I still can't shake the feeling that the house is full of germs though.

Do you confine your kids to their room, or do you let them out into the main living areas when they're sick? I let them on the couch, but I'm considering what to do next time. I'm wondering If that will help me feel like I'm containing the germs better.

[DMT]

Yes it does get easier and you have proven that it will by the fact that the first time they got sick, you handled it. And the crazy cleaning isn't a bad thing in fact if more people were so diligent about cleaning when they are sick stuff wouldn't spread so much! You are a good mom and you will be fine!! You will also find that after a while, you will go from feeling so anxious to just feeling so bad that your babies are sick and you want to make them better. That Mom instinct is strong and it takes over when you need it most. Plus their immune systems will get stronger as they are exposed to more and as they grow. There will still be tough times, but you will survive them and come out stronger for it. Trust me, I have just been through a week like that I am speaking from true experience. Stay strong Mom you can do it!

Hi kthomas629. I'm glad to hear you made it through your rough week. You sound so strong! I wish I didn't let the anxiety get to me so bad. I feel like even though I took care of them, I wasn't the nurturing mother I should have been and that they deserved. I suspect my daughter is becoming phobic herself. I really tried to not let on that I was scared, I really think it's that she is so much like me, that she might end up the same. It was so hard to try to talk to her and calm her down and help her not be scared, when I was terrified myself and completely understood her panic over it. It's funny (or NOT funny) that I believed everything I said to her about it not being that bad, it being over quick, how she'll feel better tomorrow, if it happens again she'll be ok. But I can't get the same thoughts to sink into my own head when it comes to my own fear.

Do you give your kids any special vitamins or supplements to strengthen their immune systems?

Oh, and the cleaning is one thing. I wish everyone would be that way and understand the proper way to do it, how all cleaners don't work on those types of germs etc. But the crazy level that I went to was just beyond ridiculous and obsessive. Bleach spray everywhere, I got bleach stains on the carpet, the bath tub drain is now rusted where the bleach ate away at it because I left it in too long. I repeatedly bleached the germX dispenser and soap bottles, I rubbed rubbing alcohol on my lips when I was finished because I was scared that some germs splashed up when I was cleaning. It was just non-stop. I don't know how to keep from doing that next time. I don't know how "normal" people do it or how "normal" people feel during a week like this. I can't imagine how to go through a week like that without the constant panic and worry, afraid to sleep or eat, obsessive need to clean. I wish it would be how it is when it's any other virus that doesn't phase me at all. I often wonder if other people feel the same about a stomach virus as they do about any other illness. I can't even imagine what that would be like.

[wiscomommy]

I have to say it hasn't gotten much easier for me - well, at least my REACTION to things hasn't numbed or anything. I have two teenagers from a prior marriage, and I have 2-year-old and 5-year-old sons from my current marriage. My current husband knows I am a freak about this kind of stuff, and unfortunately my older boys know that I don't handle sickness well. It's just constant. My youngest has something going on where he has been coughing literally every night, nearly all night, and often to the point of v*ing. It just doesn't get easier for me. I find myself not wanting to spend any time alone with my children for fear one of them will be ill. It's out of control, and I'm not sure where to go or what to do about this. Yes, I will feel better when spring has sprung here, it was a whopping 18 degrees on my ride to work this morning. However, I just read on FB about more stomach illness. I swear...I need to destroy my social media accounts. LOL! Anyway, I love my children more than anything on this earth, but often I find myself secretly wishing away time. Precious time. Time I'll never be able to get back once they're out of the "sick" phase. This phobia has robbed me of sanity, family time, public fun, etc. Sorry...vented a bit there. Glad to see other mommies and daddies are getting through taking care of their sick little ones. Unfortunately, that's not me. They look pale...I'm running. Ugh.

[DMT]

Hi wiscomommy. I can definitely relate to your post. Do you think you would feel differently if your 2 year old were grown too? Is it just as hard when your teenagers are sick? I'm hoping it will at least be a lot less often at that point. I know what you mean about social media. I always tell myself I'm not going to check, but then I find myself looking for updates in hopes that there won't be any sickness related posts to make me feel like it's not out there anymore and is winding down. But I keep seeing posts that make it seem like this season is never ending. From little up, I usually started to feel safe in March. This season has forever ruined that for me.

[TryingToBeBrave]

DMT, I don't confine them at all. I cringe inside when they play together bc I don't want the healthy one to catch it, but I want them to feel as normal about it as possible. My daughter is 7 and is def emet, but she has no idea my husband and I both are. It has been a really huge effort to appear relaxed when they are sick. Though I don't worry about it until it happens now, it isn't easy when they are sick. I do cover the carpet with blankets and towels, but they just think that's what everyone does When I know a tummy bug is going around school, and I know bc my daughter cries about it, I comfort her but don't really worry about her catching it unless she starts showing symptoms. So I guess it is better as far as it is more situational but even then is easier to handle with each year that passes and they tend to catch it less as they get older.

[Erin80]

DMT -
YES, I worry SO much about having to deal with it if my husband is away. I've been super lucky so far - both times it hit us, he has either been on holidays (last Jan it was over New Years for one daughter, and by the time the next one caught it, it was the weekend so he was home again. This year my oldest came down with it at 1am Saturday morning, so he was home all weekend, and my littlest one didn't actually get sick until 9:30pm one night, so again he was home. I haven't dealt with it on my own yet, and I'm SCARED!). I know I'm going to have to deal with it on my own at some point, probably next time, because I can't imagine getting this lucky 3 times in a row. That said, I'm pregnant and due in May, so if this hits again next fall/winter, my husband will probably take a sick day to take care of the sick one so I can keep the baby away.

It's impossible to confine my 2 year old, but I did confine my 4 1/2 yr old when she got it back in February (she was the first to get it). DH slept in bed with her all night, held the bucket for her, etc. The only place she went all night long was into her bathroom to wash her hands and face after each episode. In the morning, he took her down to the basement, and that's where they stayed the entire day. He ended up catching it, not surprisingly I guess, but I'm STILL scratching my head as to how my youngest and I also caught it. It must have been from DH's germs, because we didn't catch it until almost a full week after my oldest had it. As soon as DH woke up feeling sick in the night, he went right to the basement and stayed down there the whole day and for 2 nights. No one had contact with him, and we didn't go down to the basement. It's just CRAZY contagious I guess. I hadn't even allowed my youngest in my oldest daughters bedroom or bathroom, or even in my room. She used her own bathroom only, and if she was upstairs it was just for nap or bedtime in her room. I don't know where we picked up the germs, but I'd LOVE to know a way to avoid it spreading through the whole house because this is the second time it has, even with constant bleaching, hand washing, etc. Insane!

[bakogirl]

I constantly stress and my kids are 13, 8 and 2. I worry about the baby catching it because he's so clingy. So I worry that I'll get it from him or the others will get it from him. I still worry about my older ones. I don't like the helpless feeling I get. If they have a fever I can bring it down, or if they have a cough I can help them. But if they have a SV I can't do anything about it. Plus they still can't make it to the bathroom which makes it worse on me. This fear has ruined me. It's ruined my life. And in a way it ruins my relationship with my kids.