thanks everyone for the support...so we bit the bullet and went in today after all...I was still going back and forth on it even up until last night, thought about just backing out, but in the end I decided we need to go through with it, and that it'll be good for both of us to start getting used to the separation anxiety (I swear I had it worse than him!). I was so nervous, both about the germs and just in general about him, because I'm used to always being with him and not knowing what he's doing at any given moment just felt so strange and freaky, lol. But he seemed to do fine, and I got to go and do some shopping on my own and have a coffee in peace, which was very nice and kinda surreal, haha. The kids all seemed to be okay based on what I saw while there, so praying for no sickness! Of course when I picked him up I walked in on him gnawing on his finger and sticking it in his water cup , wiped down his hands right away and growled at him to not do that. But I guess at some point I just need to realize it's out of my control and let go...