Sweetie, you will eventually fall asleep. That happens to me as well when I'm trying to get to sleep, and I always end up going on the internet on my phone and falling asleep with it in my hand. Try laying down on your back and just breathing for a few minutes; in through your nose, out through your mouth.

Also, suicide is never an option, even with this stupid phobia. If you're feeling even a little bit suicidal, please try calling a hotline and explaining to them what's wrong. They know what they're doing and know how to help people calm down and relax (which will also help you fall asleep!).