(not that i wanna or anything), but i actually don't! maybe that's part of what scares me
i also worry that i'm not even able to v* should i absluteyl have to! it's hard to tell how close i've come to v* without actually v* because the steps can vary! I really absolutel try to stop myself so hard, as if it's really so terrible if I did do it. I wish i could stop that so much
i know someone whos unable to v* even when he really has to!- he's not an emet