I'm so sorry you're suffering with this. When I graduated high school my Dad ended up sitting outside most of the time, for a reason I don't know but I do know it had something to do with his bipolar disorder. While I was very upset, and still resent it, I know he loves me, just..everyone has problems, and people need to realize that. Your son still knows you love him, and I'm sure you're a fantastic Dad. While I am sure he didn't like the fact that you didn't attend, I am also sure he understands. I am sure he knows you would have been there if you could. As for your wife, I feel as if she could maybe a little more supportive of you, encourage you to go places instead of just planning on going without you. I have a lovely support system, and trust me, having support makes all the difference. Living with this phobia is absolutely no way to live, but all of us will get through it, everyone on this site and everyone out there that hasn't found this site yet. Do you see a therapist? Maybe seeing a therapist and getting on some sort of anti-anxiety medication (if you believe in that) would be helpful to you, just so you can cope better. You can PM me if you'd like, and hopefully this message was a bit helpful and not towards the other direction!