Is It Bad That I Have This Attitude?

[SUM1]

I've read around the forums about posts that say stuff like "felt sick but went to my friends party anyway because she's more important" or "boyfriend had sv* but despite my phobia I cared for him and gave him water, etc." (these are just examples). There are many more just like it, but the point I'm trying to make is, all these people have the "I'd fight through it despite my fear of vomiting" or "I'll manage it anyway" attitudes, but I would instantly decline trying to do any of the things these people do. They have a risk-taking attitude, whereas I have a just-in-case attitude. Is it bad or wrong that although everyone's pushing themselves to be normal and act normal in society, I'm trying to avoid it and be reserved and not risk anything? Just keeping to my phobia and not going out or anything? I couldn't bring myself to do any of these things - it's not just that I don't want to.

Plus another thing, another reason why I don't take the risks these people take is because I've read that the outcomes are usually bad and they regret doing them, even though they attempted to act normal.

I'm not attempting to not act normal, I'm just not able to act normal.

[xxsophiaxx]

No, I do not do those things. Anything that directly involves v*/sv* I avoid, but I DO partake in other "risky" behaviors, such as going to concerts and stuff.

[Kittycat319]

I don't necessarily think it is a bad attitude but you may end up missing some opportunities in your life as a result.
I see nothing wrong with avoiding situations that involve v*, I do as well I don't go near those who are v*ing and I do not clean up v*
However When v* is not involved I go out and try my best to live my life as normal, I perform in choirs an orchestra, eat at restaurants and go out with friends
I see nothing wrong with the way you live your life as it is your own choice

[SUM1]

No, I do not do those things. Anything that directly involves v*/sv* I avoid, but I DO partake in other "risky" behaviors, such as going to concerts and stuff.

I never go to concerts but not because of emetophobia, because of phonophobia. It's far too loud for me and makes me really distressed.

[sdfl]

It's not bad or wrong, it's just the place you're at; and you may always be there depending on whatever comes to pass in your lifetime: since you say you're unable to act "normal" (I still haven't come up with a proper definition for that).

[HEH18]

For me the big thing and the reason why I'd push myself is because I desire to live a life that isn't ruled with an iron fist, by fear. This is where my phobia was going- that I was so controlled by the fear that I wasn't enjoying life like I wanted to. I hate the idea that fear will hold such power over me, and I finally got to a point that I decided not to let it do that.

Ironically, the more I pushed myself, the better the phobia got. I am still absolutely an emet, but it's so much better than a year and a half ago, and I will keep working with the hope that someday I can control it, not have it control me What I've been realizing is that all of this is in my head. And it's about learning to master those thoughts, and not let them take root (which always led to a panic).

And as a follow up to what you said, I've yet to have something bad happen from my risk taking, but even if I did I would continue to push myself. What I've realized as I've pushed, is that 99% of the time, nothing bad will happen. I have learned the healthy amount of caution (washing hands before eating) vs unhealthy (obsessively sanitizing). And at the point I am now, I'm amazed at how much more free I feel. This feeling of freedom is what keeps me pushing myself.

That being said, everyone is at a different point, and some may not desire to do what I'm doing, and if that's where you want to be, or are able to be, then that's just what it is!

[SUM1]

For me the big thing and the reason why I'd push myself is because I desire to live a life that isn't ruled with an iron fist, by fear. This is where my phobia was going- that I was so controlled by the fear that I wasn't enjoying life like I wanted to. I hate the idea that fear will hold such power over me, and I finally got to a point that I decided not to let it do that.

Ironically, the more I pushed myself, the better the phobia got. I am still absolutely an emet, but it's so much better than a year and a half ago, and I will keep working with the hope that someday I can control it, not have it control me What I've been realizing is that all of this is in my head. And it's about learning to master those thoughts, and not let them take root (which always led to a panic).

And as a follow up to what you said, I've yet to have something bad happen from my risk taking, but even if I did I would continue to push myself. What I've realized as I've pushed, is that 99% of the time, nothing bad will happen. I have learned the healthy amount of caution (washing hands before eating) vs unhealthy (obsessively sanitizing). And at the point I am now, I'm amazed at how much more free I feel. This feeling of freedom is what keeps me pushing myself.

That being said, everyone is at a different point, and some may not desire to do what I'm doing, and if that's where you want to be, or are able to be, then that's just what it is!

That's the thing, I don't think of it as an it. You seem to, and want to not let "it" control "you". From my perspective, it's just as much me as I am me. It's just a part of me, not a seperate entity that can control me. It's not that I can control it, but it certainly doesn't control me, because that doesn't make sense. The phobia for me isn't a seperate thing, it's just a series of thinking patterns and behaviours that I have.

[Miss_Pink24]

I don't do those sorts of things, if I know that someone has an *sv or something then I will completely avoid them! But I do undertake many other activities which may be classed as "risky" by emets, such as drinking and going to the pub/clubs (I avoid the toilets after a certain time at night though), going to theme parks (I avoid spinning rides though and will only sit with people I know), eating out, flying (have to sit by the window though and have the person I am flying with next to me, could never sit with someone I didn't know), going to concerts/festivals etc. Although a lot of these things make me anxious and on edge I do not stop myself from doing them. I live a relatively normal life and have learnt a lot of coping mechanisms over the years so that I do not let emet control my life. I could not let it prevent me from doing all these things and having all of these life experiences.

I am also very lucky in that I have a VERY understanding boyfriend who has told me that if he is going to be sick then he will NOT do in the flat that he will go to his parents house until he is better or give me enough warning so that I can go and stay at my parents. This is only for contagious sick of course, if he has just had too much to drink he will warn me enough so that I can block my ears... there is a very embarrassing, but funny story involving this, but we really don't need to go into it here. :P

[chixy]

I didn't read all the replies in this post so i might be saying the exact same thing that somebody else has said, but i guess that alright anyway since you asked for opinions.
I don't think it's wrong at all that you're doing it. In the early stages of my phobia (the first two years or so) i was incredibly "selfish" and i didn't care about anyone or anything as long as i didn't have to be exposed to anything connected to v*. My sister v*d in our room once and she was croaking for water and i was so flustered and scared that i ran out of the room screaming "GET YOUR OWN DAMN WATER & F*CK OFF" or something like that Although, i have come to the stage i think in my phobia where i am just so fed up with it. You're not at first, you're still "developing" (i'm talking emets in general here, not you. I don't know where you are in your phobia) your avoidant behavior patterns and "getting to know" the phobia, so you're more keen on avoiding everything you want to avoid and obeying the phobia basically. After a right while of doing this, you just get so fed up with it.
For me it's almost like "i don't care if i v*. I really don't even care anymore. It's good if i do it, maybe it will help." Of course, i still freak out majorly if i feel like i'm actually close to do doing it, but my cognition has changed, i don't think about the whole ordeal in the same way i did in the early stages. I now push through mostly everything, i go to parties and i go on the bus and trains and stuff like that. Everything i used to avoid, i do. With anxiety, some of the time, but not all of the time. I'm slowly tearing the phobia down. I just think you have to reach that stage and be willing within yourself to take that step into beginning to challenge yourself. It's not wrong if that takes a long time, it's individual. Maybe that's why you have this attitude, (regardless of how long you've had the phobia) maybe you just haven't reached that incredibly indifferent, fed up stage yet.