I've had a few events that probably led to my phobia. I've had this for as long as I can remember, I just didn't know know it was a real thing. One event that I think really gave me the fear happened when I was about 7. I was really sick with the flu and I just remember thinking I was going to die. I wouldn't eat anything, and that only made it worse and more painful. Another thing that I think may have caused it for me is I have always felt like I need to have everything in my life under control, and to me v*ing is so unpredictable. I mean, other people can just get sick with no warning. I used to always get really mad at kids who would v* in class because I would think, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULDN'T LEAVE!" and after something like that would happen I would think of them so differently. As if they were forever gross and covered in germs. Whenever I feel nauseous I instantly go into a panic because I feel like I have pretty much forgotten how to v*, since it's been so long since I have. I don't know. I also find myself really afraid of germs.. that may be it.