Welcome to the site, Bella!
You will find there are many users here, myself included, who have gone through and are continuing to go through exactly what you are. There are a few members who are in the field of healthcare. One gal works in an assisted living facility taking care of Alzheimer's and dementia patients! Many of us are mothers and most have gone through our pregnancies/deliveries without any v whatsoever. Please don't think it's hopeless-it is definitely possible to continue to live your life and do the things you want, in spite of emet. It does require a sense of determination to muscle through themfear, but the way I see it, each challenge faced (as excruciating as it may be at the time) is always a victory. I hate flying, but I love the beach (I live in AZ, so no beaches here ) so I've had to learn to deal with flying. I still dread it. Sometimes I have panic attacks mid-air, sometimes I don't. In order to deal, created my own "flying survival guide" because my love for beach vacations is worth the discomfort and sometimes terror of actually getting there. It's just figuring out what's wroth fighting for personally-does that make sense?
Some folks have had good results with CBT therapy so that may be something to consider.