Hello!
I am new here and am just getting used to the format. I have not been diagnosed but I am afraid to go and see someone to talk about it.
I struggle accepting that I have this because I feel like my stomach hurts often. The doctors are undergoing tests but you can tell by the smirks on their faces that they consider me to only have anxiety issues.
I have never told them that I have trouble taking the bus because if I got sick I would be humiliated. And if I am on the bus I try to talk myself down from it in my head but I can visualize it happening. I can smell it. I can see the reactions of people. And although this has never, ever actually happened...it feels so real. The threat is so real.
I haven't told them that I can't be in the same room as someone who is ill. That I stop talking to customers when I sense that they aren't feeling well. That bars are scary places that people get sick at.
I have safe foods. I call them safe foods. Sometimes I eat the same food for weeks before I switch. A while ago my safe food was ice cream...which sounds awesome but did nothing for my waistline.
I ONLY like eating in my room.
I do not go to restaurants.
I have a partner that cares for me and helps me along.
However...my job is slipping out of my hands. My focus isn't there. I am so worried all the time about every feeling in my stomach. I forget to count cash, I call in sick, I get sent home.
I guess I am looking for someone to...talk to.
Are these feelings shared?