I know how you feel... To a point, v* is a sign that something is wrong. But, it is also a natural reflex of our bodies- just like going to the bathroom (albeit much less pleasant). I still try hard to remember that, if I do end up v*ing (or seeing someone v*), it will only be for a little while. It will pass eventually. Life is about much more than being s* or seeing others s*, although it seems differently in the moment. Deep breaths.