Anyone think their emet has changed?

[bluebell242]

Like flipped to being more about Others v* than about myself v*??

I know that I still, well since doing thrive programme I don't feel I'm as bad and my thoughts about emet have changed. I think I still need CBT though and am still waiting so will still do it if they offer it to me, because I wanna get to the bottom of why I have emet, which I believe is somehow 'psychological' (if possible)

But now with my issue with this, I feel as if it's flipped, like if I was v* i'd worry that others in my family were v* too (the only reason where this wouldnt be true is if alcohol had caused me to v* and even then i'd anxiously worry that others had something as well and that it was sv*!), and last night I thought 'I could v* because of this food I made but others had it too and they could v* and i dont want them to v* even if i v* myself!' I was only worried about others v*. Like if I got sick I'd rather not in my home because of several things for 1 the social anxiety aspect of disliking/finding it somehow impossible to let myself be seen/heard getting sick (as ive said before this seems to be the same for d* too) (think this may be what my emet comes/came down to even when I developed it really, because for some reason i didn't want anyone knowing I had sv- why though, this is what I dunno.)
and the social anxiety makes me feel like id only be comfortable getting sick alone in a forest but then theres the aspect of fearing others v*ing and worrying wherever i was if i was v* that they would be too and i couldn't help them, even though others I know are not emet and would not worry or struggle anyway (probably). and the idea of others v* at all just makes me anxious in general, well of people I know.

I've never enjoyed hearing other people getting sick like ive always plugged my ears etc, im not sure if id still do that, probably not but yeah i think the sound is only disgusting when its someone else v* in my opinion. you dont really think about it when its happening to you...

so yeah confusing much?

[jptk]

I used to fear everyone vomiting, even if they vomitied from drink or drugs. But that was years ago, nowadays it doesn't bother me if someone vomits from drink/drugs, only bothers me if I can catch it.