Not eating.

[AIR32]

Hi everyone, I recently became super emetophobic again. I am to the point now where for the most part I refuse to eat over the past 6 months I have lost at least 50lbs. I am so sick of not being able to eat. I can honestly say half the time I feel sick because I haven't had anything to eat but that will not change my mind to allow me to eat. If I eat anything I immediately feel sick to my stomach and I can say I know it is all in my head when I am not actively nervous or feeling the ill feeling, but when it is happening I can't get past the "this time is definitely it" thought. I want to eat sooo bad but am so scared to I refuse to even drink anything at times also due to the fear. I am at a loss, there are days where I can make myself eat and everything is fine but then I will go a week with toast here or there and almost nothing else. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get past this?

[Valen*]

I think you just have to remind yourself that eating will make u feel better..and if IT didn't happen last time, why would it happen this time or the next time? U feel sick after u eat, b/c of you freaking yourself out about it :/ i really hope u can begin eating normally, even if it's little by little at first

[AIR32]

That's my biggest issue I think, before I even eat I already expect the issues after so I am causing them to be there because of expectation. The eating is top on my goals for pushing myself because I am trying to look at it as if I don't eat I will get sick because I am so weak but if I did eat then I probably would be fine because I would be stronger. Thank You

[Valen*]

EXACTLY! Not eating will make u feel really sick, and could cause you to actually become sick. Even if its something small, you know u have to eat. Choose things you enjoy And if there is a day where u feel like u absolutely cannot eat at all, make sure you are still drinking. And you're welcome!

[bakogirl]

I know that song and dance all too well. I've been in that situation way too many times. I'm completely opposite right now. I can't stop eating and it's giving me anxiety. Everytime I eat I freak out. I have to take anxiety pills just because I ate. It's really just mind over matter. It's hard to train our brains when emet takes over. That part tells us that food is the enemy. But yet if I don't eat I feel bad and if I eat I feel better but then my brain says its bad so then I feel bad again which sends me into panic mode when there really isn't anything wrong except my thinking.

Sorry that may have seemed like rambling. But I know exactly how you feel. I hope you can overcome it and eat something more than toast. Feel better!

[Erica1649]

Please make sure that you eat something. Eat small thing at a time if that makes you feel better. Start with bland "comfort" foods if you want a bagel, a banana. I don't want to see you end up with an eating disorder, hope you can overcome this soon.

[AIR32]

Thank you everyone! I am trying to get in with a nutritionist also to get some better foods in my diet. I have been making a few steps in the right direction over the past few days it really is one of those mind over matter situations. @bakogirl I do that all the time where I eat and I assume before the food even goes in my mouth it is going to make me sick so I of course immediately feel "sick" when I eat. But its nervous sick opposed to hungry sick!

[Sicky-Ricky]

You need to see your doctor, you weight loss id a concern. Try to get some ensure or weight gain on prescription, sipping this is at least a start.

Like other posters have said you need to start eating, if only a little.

I hope things get better for you

[AIR32]

Thanks Everyone! I am working on getting an appointment with a nutritionist and yesterday my therapist suggested a support group that deals with anorexia even though I am not, not eating, for reasons of weight loss I hate that part, but she thinks this may help anyway

[Jess13]

Hi I see you are in ny. I'm on long island! I used to limit what I ate, I'm 5'3 and weighed 88 lbs. I did serious damage to my heart because of the weight loss and malnutrition. I have been on meds to control arrhythmia since I was 19, I'm 36 now and will prob b on it the rest of my life. I had to come off it when I was pregnant and I had a hard time. My turning point was when I realized what I did to my self because I was afraid to v. I started eating again and now weigh 110. I still slip back a little sometimes but when I put that pill in my mouth it reminds me to not let my fears consume me. Try your best to eat. Start small, make sure anything you put in your mouth is nutritious. Every bite counts. Good luck

[Puddin1976]

Air32 my doctor had also referred me to the food eating disorder team at my local hospital...I too feel that this won't help as it's the emets that restricts what I eat, when I eat and how much I eat. They are sending me as I lost 1.5 st in less than ten days but I was at my worst then and on holiday abroad (which made it even more worse) - I will go to my appt (Tuesday) and I hope they will listen to me and refer me to an emets specialist if they have one or at least give me some CBT. My advice is drink plenty of water and eat fruit...eat little and often and what you fancy. It helped me. Xx

[AIR32]

That is my thought too.. I am not sure how much it would help me since I want to eat really bad but can't get past the mental part of it. I have been doing a little better got some food from a new BBQ place today and my how I missed all that food! I didn't eat as much as I would have before this came back but it was a lot for me lately.

@Jess.. That is what I am afraid of is causing other issues due to my fear which isn't going to happen anyways. I have been to heart doctor and so far so good but they are watching. I guess my saving grace was I was considered overweight before so now I am in a normal weight for my height I'm 5-5 and about 115.. but to me it is disgusting I am not a person built to be skinny like this I believe I was made to be in the more to love category lol if that makes sense.. thats when I am happiest at least. But am def trying to push as much as I can to keep food and fluids going.

@Puddin.. Let me know how that appointment turns out for you I am curious because I too don't see much benefit from it.. I want to eat just mentally will not allow myself I hate how I look because I am waaaaaaay too thin for my liking. I feel that would be the exact opposite of the feelings of the rest of the group. And I am concerned with how it will be if there are people who are bulimic in the group because I believe thats the disorder where you binge and purge. I dont know I would really like to know how yours goes maybe I am way off and it will help. I am at the point where I am willing to try anything. I have been doing more water and some gatorade which helps with the lightheadedness for not eating enough also.. Its really hard because my worst is eating and having to go out or eating at night... so it leaves almost no "safe" time for me to eat. I have been trying to force myself to take a few bites of even toast before I bring my daughter to school everyday which Im hoping will help in the long run and turn into more and more