Please don't hold back having kids as they can be a joy and you can make it through. Although it sounds like that is not an option in your life right now. I explained to my kids when they were old enough to understand and my husband was very supportive. I think trying a therapy that deals specifically with phobias would help.
What you said about your dog is a somewhat true for me. But usually when I hear my dog or cat I am more focused on getting them outside. I wish you luck and hope you find a good therapist. Let me know.
You are lucky to have a sportive Mom. My parents didn't know and my father teased me.