Bye I guess.

[I'm a mess]

What do you do when you are so suicidal. You can barely speak. You can barely keep your eyes open. You feel like your dead already. Yet my pain is still there. My pain. On new medication that makes me gag. I can't go through with that every morning. I'd rather be on my old medication when it didn't work. I think my only option has came. I should end my life. On my own terms. The idea sends my heart racing and makes me think. But all in all it's become my only choice. I might have to go to hospital. A psychiatric hospital. I won't be able to eat there food. I can barely eat my own food. Let alone a hospital that has bad reviews from the kids. I can't go to school anymore. I can barely focus. I hover watching skins and reading fanfics. I don't get a education. I'm being grilled about how I will regret it all the time. My dad doesn't care. My mum is going through to much for me. If I ended my life all there pain would stop. All there worrying about me and all there calling places up to try and get me help. I haven't been to therapy since last year due to there isn't anyone to see me. I mooch around town. I sleep. I cut. I stay inside my house. There isn't any point in this life. In this crippling fear. I've grown so weak through loss of blood, lack of food. I'm crazy. I have other issues other than this horrid phobia. I can't control my bad behaviour. I'm interested with thinking about setting things on fire. There isn't anything else for me. I was born in the wrong place. Loner. Freak. Stupid. Weird. Words that define me so well. I don't know what to do. There isn't anything to do. Waiting for new miracles isn't going to help. There isn't anywhere for me to get help. I'm trapped. I can set my demons free if I go. I can set myself free.

[Natiebear]

Please call an ambulance and get to a hospital right now! You can get help you don't have to do this.

[Grace47]

I have been where you are and came out the other side. I have a happy life now. Please seek help. It does get better. My thoughts are with you.

[wiscomommy]

Life is so worth living - a dose of perspective and someone to talk to and listen to you can help you. Call 911...get some help my friend!

[Felle]

I agree with the others, get yourself to a hospital asap. Life IS worth living. Please get some help. You'll be in my thoughts.

[MaybeBaby]

Please get help. Life is so worth living!

[Elski]

Go to the hospital, you need help ASAP, do it now. Suicide is never the answer.

[Hannah A.]

Please get help from somebody. Suicide is NEVER the answer to anything. I have felt the way you are feeling, but I soldiered thru it. It may seem like suicide is the answer now, but it really isn't. It gets better. Just think about how your friends and family will feel if you do commit. They would be so sad and guilty. You don't want that do you? Stay strong ♥

[Mamafear]

Sweetie, you made it sound like it's a chore or a hassle for your Mum to care for you. I am a Mum and my 14 (going on 15) yr old is going through hell atm too ( he's not emet but has just been told hes got a disfiguring connective tissue disorder) and he is miserable. You need to hear what I next say because you won't understand it until you've a child of your own. Your Mum (AND your Dad) love you so damn much and would give not just their right leg, but every last limb just to ensure your wellness and happiness. If you chose to take your life, be certain of one thing, your Mum (AND your Dad) will be utterly devastated for a very very very long time and will blame themselves for not doing enough. Instead, allow them to do what they signed up for, what they are desperate to do because they love you, just allow them the honour of parenting you, wrapping you in their care and all will come right. You need to remember, they've gone through all sorts of fear and pain and helped, advised and learnt from many other sorts. Please know that life throws alot of curve balls but mostly it's made up of great stuff. Read Dr Suess' 'Oh The Places You'll Go'. It says it all. And last, (but not least;-)ere is a soul mate out there waiting for you too, truly! You wouldn't want that person to be kept waiting for their perfect mate forever, now would you?. Xxx

[whyme333]

Please don't end your life! It gets better, I promise! Unfortunately, I do think you need to be admitted to a hospital. If you need to talk, we are all here for you.

[emet-ana]

Hi,

I'm so sorry you're really ill just now. Please do take all the help you can get- I've just spent 3 months in hospital for emet and OCD and it was fine there- you might feel safer and be looked after really well. It would take you out of your current situation and help you to see things differently.

There are so many things you can do in the future, you are so young and these problems can be fixed. Thinking of you xx

[staystrongxx]

Hun, please get help now. Check yourself into a psychiatric hospital. I have been where you are, if to a lesser degree. End of February 2012 I was so so suicidal. I was checked into a hospital the next day. I was there for 4 days. I felt so much better upon coming out...they found the right medication for me, and I met some wonderful people there who gave me hope. It was like a vacation from life. Soon after that I ended the verbally abusive long distance relationship I was in. I found the love of my life. I traveled 400 miles to spend a week with my best friend.

I have very few friends, I guess I am a nuisance to people, I'm ugly, annoying, and emet & anxiety rules my life. I still have very down points in my life.

But, it does get better. You just need to give it a chance too. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Go on Youtube, and type in "If you want to kill yourself" And watch that video. It will change things.

I'll be thinking of you. Add me on Facebook if you need a chat.

[Rachella]

Please don't do anything, there is life at the end of the tunnel.

What do you do when you are so suicidal. You can barely speak. You can barely keep your eyes open. You feel like your dead already. Yet my pain is still there. My pain. On new medication that makes me gag. I can't go through with that every morning. I'd rather be on my old medication when it didn't work. I think my only option has came. I should end my life. On my own terms. The idea sends my heart racing and makes me think. But all in all it's become my only choice. I might have to go to hospital. A psychiatric hospital. I won't be able to eat there food. I can barely eat my own food. Let alone a hospital that has bad reviews from the kids. I can't go to school anymore. I can barely focus. I hover watching skins and reading fanfics. I don't get a education. I'm being grilled about how I will regret it all the time. My dad doesn't care. My mum is going through to much for me. If I ended my life all there pain would stop. All there worrying about me and all there calling places up to try and get me help. I haven't been to therapy since last year due to there isn't anyone to see me. I mooch around town. I sleep. I cut. I stay inside my house. There isn't any point in this life. In this crippling fear. I've grown so weak through loss of blood, lack of food. I'm crazy. I have other issues other than this horrid phobia. I can't control my bad behaviour. I'm interested with thinking about setting things on fire. There isn't anything else for me. I was born in the wrong place. Loner. Freak. Stupid. Weird. Words that define me so well. I don't know what to do. There isn't anything to do. Waiting for new miracles isn't going to help. There isn't anywhere for me to get help. I'm trapped. I can set my demons free if I go. I can set myself free.

[Maddie-_-]

It hurts me to read this. You are none of those things you wrote about yourself. You are worth it, you sare beautiful, you are intellegent, you are a good good human being and just because sometimes it feels like you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, you are not. We all came here for a reason, a lesson we had to learn. Some lessons are super difficult. We are learning suffering, learning that life has a lot of open doors. We see the open doors when we feel we cant go through them if that makes sence. You are such a good human being, and I have never even met you, but I know no one is really bad, not even murderers.. They are the ones learning the lesson, they came to learn suffering in jail right? This is my theory.

You are here for a good reason, sometimes we go through life not knowing the reason and thats fine. I have been suicidal with emetophobia before. I guess it seems like a good option doesnt it? Like - you just think that its the way out of pain and misery , right? Well you are right. It is a way to end it. However, there is also help out there, sometimes its hard to find but its out there. Humans have ventured into space, and you think they they cant cure a little phobia? I know it seems big, but its only big because it is what our lives are about, for a looker- in , its simple to cure. You just have to find the right one. Can I tell you something? Your parents care about you. Just because they dont understand and dont help just means they do not understand and do not have the right tools to help you, but they care. Loner - we all like you - freak - define freak - stupid - maths does not define intelegance - weird - whos normal?

I know that trapped feeling, as if your body and mind hates you right? So team up with them! Easier said than done I know, I would highly reccomend this for you though, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c29sl2HHTXE

It helped me alot, and it WILL help you.

Dont kill yourself. Think of a phobia -free future with possible kids and a family and pets or a great job, whatever you aspire..
Some people find them annoying but go watch SHAYTARDS on youtube -a family of daily vloggers, they help me soooo much, always putting good messages into the world and helping with my phobia alot as they have young kids and you see them around herms and bearely even being ill. Go watch.



We love you, and care, you are AMAZING. A lovely lovely AMAZING human being who is here for a purpose. I know this is odd. but text or call me if you need it. 07979340961. Dont be shy, im a girl and I want to help you because these feeling and self opinions are not right. If your shy text. If you have the rope and you are needing someone, feel free to call. I have no life so im always here.