Boyfriend sick

[jaynielu]

Oh my word...

Well I haven't been on here for a really long time, but today is just the worst.

I have been living together with my boyfriend (of 5 years) for the past year and today is the first time he really is sick.

This next part might make me sound really selffish but I just don't know how to control it.

He told me he had v* at work. Now he is on his way home. This makes me really scared because I know how he is. He is one who doesn't make it to the bathroom in time!
And he doesn't care about where it goes (as long as it's out of him).
He will v* in the bed if he had to and put the mess in the bath. I feeel so scared because it's not because of food. It's a scary bug going around at the moment... I slept next to him the whole night and kissed him good bye this morning.

It's terrifing that I just don't know what awaits me at home... I can't help but wonder if everything is cleaned properly.

I hate the feeling that I am not in control and I don't like the fact that I wish he would just go to his parents house... and disinfect everything before he comes home again.

I am seriously considering staying at work until friday!
This can't be the answer...

OMW... I wish the world would just swallow me up and be done with it.

[Readynow]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way I could cry for you! I will share some things that have helped me out these past three weeks (my son had a vs, then my 22 month old daughter..all over me multiple multiple times, then my husband, they are better since yesterday.)

So kissing him goodbye isn't a worry since he hadn't v yet. No worries there! I still haven't gotten sick and I've been covered in d and v these last few days hope that's not too graphic for you. I attribute this to taking probiotics, getting rest (through taking Benadryl at night,) staying hydrated, and perhaps my emet stomach. If you can get some probiotics for both of you (when he can keep them down) that would be great.

You could also stop at the store on your way home and get some disposable gloves, a mask, and some bleach (an awesome bleach alternative that supposedly kills noro is Lysol with Hydrogen Peroxide.) trash bags and the like. For your peace of mind. You could also get a small trash can or container and line it with bags to set beside your boyfriend in the bed. Maybe he will be able to make it in the can? wash your hands well and keep them out of your mouth. Maybe sleep on the couch or even consider staying with someone else for a while.

all of that won't help you recover, though I'm not sure that's what you're really looking for right now. It's pretty much "feeding" the fear to go to all those lengths. But if you are wanting to try and stick it out, or face the fear (very scary but easier with time and a good support system,) I would suggest you try to accept that it may happen to you as well. Then just practice "normal" hygiene and try to stay as calm as you can. Know that you're not really in danger, even though it very much feels like it. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it's going to be ok. No matter what, you'll be ok. This will pass.

My therapist has suggested a couple of things that have helped and if you're interested I can share them with you. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. It's hard and lonely but you can get through this time! And for some extra reassurance, not only am I right there in this with you, but I have been overly exposed (and I'm pregnant so my immune system stinks) and I have stayed healthy. There is a chance that you won't get it! Pm me if you need to talk.

[mdgirl1977]

I agree about the gloves and stuff. Also get him a damn bucket and tell him to keep it next to him so he can v into it. What the hell - he is a grown up?? Line it with like 5 bags for easy disposal. He should be able to keep his v contained. Even my 7 year old son knows to keep a trash can near him. That part really makes me angry. Does he not know that you are emet????

[jaynielu]

Thanks for commenting firstly, I'm glad there are others like me out there. It makes me feel alot more sane and less of a "crazy lady"

It's not the fact that he doesn't know... He just doesn't understand. He has been told his whole life that v* is ok and even good. (Bets me!)
His mom would let him be *unwell* anywhere, and they didn't practise very good hygiene (not too standard, or my idea of a "normal" persons idea)

I am in the process of trying to teach him and because this is the first time when he's been living with me... It makes it very difficult.

The whole situation is making me especially anxious because I can't get off work, to "prepare" for a sick person.

I know it's terrible to think that way, but I'm not ready to make a compromise on this subject. And you are totally right... I just can't understand, why his parents never taught him "otherwise".

I agree about the gloves and stuff. Also get him a damn bucket and tell him to keep it next to him so he can v into it. What the hell - he is a grown up?? Line it with like 5 bags for easy disposal. He should be able to keep his v contained. Even my 7 year old son knows to keep a trash can near him. That part really makes me angry. Does he not know that you are emet????

[mdgirl1977]

just tell him this is non negotiable. he needs to carry a friggin bucket. end of story. stop at a 24 hr drugstore on your way home. no reason to prepare, per se, but rather have stuff on hand. also tell him he needs to clean his own damn v up. run the washing machine twice on high heat. you can go and lysol the shit out the place multiple times a day with gloves on. ugh, I am sorry. its like you are living in a friggin hazmat zone.

tell him no sex for 2 weeks if he cant get his hygiene under control I bet that works.

[Pigatron]

You are not alone! I totally sympathize. I agree with others that you should sleep in another room. Best scenario would be if you could stay somewhere else for a few days. If he's not going to be careful about spreading germs, it all up to you to avoid them. As long as you are not in the room when he actually V, and therefore not be exposed to momentary airborne germs, then it's just surfaces you have to worry about. Bleach everything in the bathroom and be extra careful about hand washing and not touching your mouth or face. When I was first living with my boyfriend, now my husband, he got sick one night and I was terrified of going into the bathroom until I could buy bleach the next day. I actually peed into a plastic cup so I wouldn't have to go into the bathroom.

[Collie]

And he doesn't care about where it goes (as long as it's out of him).
He will v* in the bed if he had to and put the mess in the bath.

Ummm f that!!! I'd make him sleep in the bathroom! A grown adult vomiting in bed....geez this makes me irrationally angry for you!!! I'd stay at a hotel til it passes :P

[Natiebear]

If my kids can make it to the bathroom there's no reason a grown man can't.

[NicManri]

Yea id be making him sleep in the bathroom if he really can't make it, that's just insane to me. I second the gloves and mask and bleach for cleaning. Do you have more than one bathroom? I reccomened keeping him to one room and one bathroom so as not to contaminate your whole house. I did that with my bf last year and didn't catch anything. He too is fine with v* but thank god he always takes himself to the bathroom

[IR23]

This is pretty worrisome =/..only youbcoukd protect yourself in this case, since he doesnt have much control..Some people have difficulty reaching a bucket on time because it suddenly comes out..I havent v in many years thankfully, but ive had dry heaves without expecting it..

[NicManri]

I forgot to add I slept on the couch until he was better and then I washed the bedding in hot water.

[wanted]

How everything went?