What aspects of your life are most affected by your condition?

[Readynow]

I've been contemplating this a lot lately... Emet effects everything in some small way for me. It takes a toll on my husband and kids. (I love my own kids but can't stand other peoples because of this fear!!) I hate having house guests and since my husbands (large and kid crammed) family is military they think staying (or living) with each other is totally normal and great. I do NOT. My house is my safe bubble and I don't want to contaminate it. This effects my marriage greatly.

Also, so, my fear based reaction to emet is either panic, anger, or uncontrollable sadness and depression. Or a mixture. My kids and husband are affected by this on a daily basis. Especially in times like now when an sv is still hanging around my house. As for me, I live in constant guilt and heartbreak because I am well aware of what this does to my family.

As for the future, I can't even see into it. I was in nursing school but I dropped out because I had to go off my meds when I got pregnant, and I could never have my kids in daycare. I want to get out of the house and be that super mom/wife/woman that I know is there hiding inside me but I have to kick this fear first.

Sorry for the depressing post. Geez. I'm in need of some happiness.