Baby Steps

[NicManri]

So my grandfather is doing poorly, he has dementia and recently he has fluid around his heart and has a few small heart attacks. A little over a week ago he was taken to the hospital and thinking he wasn't going to make it much longer I didn't hesitate to go. I just told my self don't touch your face wash your hands as soon as you get home. We had to wear mask and gloves around him so that was fine with me. Anyway Monday he was doing better and moved to a nursing home. I went with my mom to visit him on her lunch break, it happened to be lunch time there too. All of the people sitting in the cafeteria made me very anxious (the place makes me anxious anyway). Right before his food came my grandpa started saying he was n* and freaking out. My mom has told me he does this all the time and nothing ever happens, she thinks he just needs to eat. This made my anxiety go through the roof and was all I could do not to run out of the place. I stayed, but feel awful that I can't just be normal and deal with these things. I know in my head he's not sick, it's more likely from all his meds or not eating. I went back today and he had just gotten back from lunch, he was doing better but right before he went to sleep he started with the n* and the panic again. This time we were in his room, wich made me less anxious and I didn't freak out and want to run. I panicked for a min but told my self I could just look away and it wasn't contagious so I didn't have anything to worry about. Also, yesterday a friend of mine told me she had a stomach bug, usually this would send me into a panic (even though she lives on the oppisit side of the country) but this time it didn't.

[mhartse]

Good job on you not freaking out with your sick friend. Sorry to hear about your grandpa. Nursing homes are never fun to see your loved ones in. Dementia really messes with their minds and bodies, and yes he could be on a lot of medication and have enough sense to say how he's feeling. You did all the right things, not touching your face, etc... so you will be okay!

[anna81]

Sorry to hear about your grandpa. My grandma had dementia and ended up in hospital a lot followed eventually by a nursing home. I hated visiting her as we often had to sit in the cafeteria and I think on one occasion a lady v'ed. Shortly after that when we got to the home we were told there was an outbreak of Noro, I totally freaked out and couldn't bring myself to visit again. Shortly after she passed away and I so regret letting my phobia keep me away from her. I also have a phobia of old people, not sure if its cos I think they are more likely to v! My advice would be however much you fear visiting don't let it ruin spending time with your grandpa.