Hi,
I understand you very well. Last month a coworker (that`s my friend too) told me she had vomited during work hours that day. I freaked out and asked if she was ok, (she knows my problem) she said that she was much better than before and smile to me... That didnīt help me at all... my mind constantly though of the fact that she did that... and she can smile o_o...
Sometimes i try to understand why this unreasonable fear is in my brain... is so strange... but the fear is so strong that I feel that Im living in constantly fear... always... never calm.. always alert...
I hope you are better. You can talk to me whenever you want =).