wish today were over already

[ejb199]

well i guess its a bit late now to ask for support...

im worried coz instead of work today - we are travelling 3 hours north to have some team building day at our other office....this involves a three hour car journey. i keep trying to positive taalk myself into being ok - i.e its ok - i know i will sit in the front and they are my friends who i trust and they are really nice girls - but im still worried and the more and more i think about this phobia - the more and more i think it has something srongly to do with embarrasing myself/losing face in front of other people...just the thought of having to ask my friend to pull over or stop scares the hell out of me...

and to make matters worse - my tummy has been up and down for like three weeks now. its been dodgy ever since my parents came to stay which was abt three weeks abgo -and i got out of my usualy food routine and ate alot of fatty things - but that was ages ago now -and it just wont let up. every morning im getting sharp stabbing pains thro my tummy - right at the bottom(im pretty sure its IBS) and its soooo painful and then i HAVE to go... [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]
so thats also worrying me - coz of the long car journey and all - oh god - i just wish at the moment that i wouldnt wake up in the morning - that by some chance, i would have fallen peacfully to sleep forever over the night... [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

i just hate life at the mo [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] and i try to keep positive but i just feel myself slipping further.
ems x

[SimplyMe]

I'm sure you will do fine! Your stomach has been funny for 3 wks and you haven't been sick yet so today will be no different. You will be in the front (would it be possible for you to drive instead?) and you will be w/ friends. There will be so much talking and joking the three hours will fly! I get nervous of car trips too but if you break it down to what 3 hours really is it's not long at all.(especially w/ cool people around) I mean the time between meals is less than that, you can't even watch 2 full movies in that amout of time, it's only 3 episodes of Dr. Phil or the OC or whatever hour long show, 3 hours is only that ya know? When you look at it that way and realize if you were doing anything else (like sitting at work) you'd be fine and still spending that 3 hours it can be a comfort, so if you'd be OK at work you will be ok on the road. I hope this helps you! Let us know how it goes!

[ejb199]

Aww Simple - thanks for your kind words babe. the car trip going was fine - the treasure hunt and day out was fine - the meal in the evening was fine. 2am and i wake up - im then up for the rest of the whole night - with terrible diarrohea - i swapped rooms with one of my friends so i would have to disturb the one sleeping.

I can honestly say it was one of the worst nights of my life. i was petrified and i even went back to my old ways of cuttin - not proud. i honestly wanted to die - i felt awful and was sooo sure i was gonne be sick. I just literally got backt ot the office now - 4 hours drive back - and felt woozy the whole way.i just wanna curl up and sleep forever - i hate this crap -i hate it so so much- and i swear - im never eatin much again. thats it - im just SICK of it...

x

[SimplyMe]

Aww, I'm glad the first part went so well and sorry the night didn't. It was probably a combination of pent up nerves from before you went and then all the different activities and foods. That had to be very scary for you.You're back now and hopefully that is giving you some comfort. I hope you feel better soon (both physically and emotionally)

[ejb199]

hey - im home now- im my house and with jon - i feel much better both physically and emotionally - but still on each and just worried all the time...grrr. i hate this so much.

[bexcelica]

i still find it amazing how all of you think exactly like i do. i would
be freaking out about a 3 hour road trip because what if i had to v*?
then what would happen? i wouldnt be home and somethign terrible would
happen (although we all know this isnt true - nothign terrible ever
happens)[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] but why cant we
realize that? i am in awe about how similar you all are to myself, as i
always say i just thought i was crazy[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]