Sorry this is off topic but need some help.

[Sayg]

Hi I've tried to post one of my first postings (my background and intro info etc) on the private section but it still hasn't posted it yet and I am not sure why. I keep trying but it doesn't send. It's been a couple days now too so I have a feeling it will take a long time for it to post since it did say the moderators are going to review it. I am seeing if I am able to even post on here so if this does post then I might just try posting that message on here. If anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. Sorry again it's off topic but I am quite new to postings and only have been replying to messages and not starting ones. Thank you.

[Sayg]

yay it worked! it looks like I am not able to post on the private section yet but on this section. I will post that original message on here then if anyone would like to read it

[Sayg]

or wait no I will just post it on here since I don't really want to take up too much room on the forums so here it is and have been wanting to have it posted for a long time:

Hi there everyone, I have not posted on the forums and have just been using chat. I'm not really one to post on forums (prefer chat over forums even though this chat has quite a few issues) and thought that I could just talk about my phobia and thoughts through chat but it seems the issue with "Mike" has made me uncomfortable and quite frustrating. So rather then try to chat with a lot of people to clarify some of these issues I wanted to say I thought I should make a post (not the way I wanted to make my first post but at the same time I can tell about my background). I want to say that from the start that my main reason for coming on this site is for my phobia and having someone to share my thoughts and struggles with it and hoping to help others out as well as I can. There maybe times of course to get off topic which is fine, but again the main reason I come on here is to deal with this phobia.


I have had my phobia for about 3yrs now and continue to find ways to try to overcome it. I appreciate that there are sites like this to be able to talk to others with the same phobia. It's a really difficult one to deal with and talk to others about. I have developed a lot of symptoms with my fear of getting sick (I respect others who have triggers to the actual words (please let me know if I say something that others might be uncomfortable), which is quite new to me since I have triggers myself but didn't know others had that sensitive triggers) but the main symptom that affects me the most is dizziness. I've lived with this dizziness for close to 3yrs now and it does not let up. I also have anxiety and have had panic attacks before as well. The doctors and specialists have told me my dizziness is caused by my anxiety but it still scares me that I'm not 100% sure what it's from and there's no direct way of treating it. The only thing I feel I can work on is my anxiety and my fear of getting sick since those are two things that I hope will let symptoms like my dizziness hopefully lessen or even go away. This phobia is really difficult and I live with it every day. I must admit that another reason I didn't like to use the forums is that I did not really want to read some of the postings on here because they made me anxious (ie reading that someone is possibly getting sick etc.). Still, I do want to chat with others about my phobia and discuss things like that so I think it's reasonable to say that I can do that with the forums too. The main thing is to talk about it and try to help each other out and support each other. I have went to see many therapists and have done quite a bit of research on anxiety and this phobia as well. I am hoping to use self help books and research myself to overcome my phobia (eg Thrive, Pass through panic, Emetophobia recovery system) but there are times I feel I should see a therapist again because I feel I can't do it alone. The problem I have is that therapy isn't cheap though so I personally feel it's quite hard to manage money wise. I also see that at some point in my phobia I need to find it within myself to overcome it. It comes down to myself and choosing to get over this. Still, that's easier said then done. I have not had this phobia for my whole life (I am now 35) and just developed it through some stressful times in my life. Not going into too much detail (long story) but I caught a sv 3yrs ago and also had panic attacks then and the two have linked themselves together ever since. I never had a panic attack before in my life and I never had a sv that I could remember in my life (I am sure I had sv when I was younger but didn't dwell on it) so it really scared me. I also developed OCD as well (wash a lot).


I am trying to get back to normal and live a normal life that I once did. I seem to be the minority when it comes to the duration of my phobia and when it developed. It seems a lot of people on here have had their phobias since they were younger and a lot don't seem to know the reason why they developed it. I cannot imagine how difficult that has been. I know some people who have their phobia for almost their whole life! That is crazy and feel sorry for them. I really do not want to live another 3yrs of my life with this fear or even the rest of my life. It's not easy though because the pain of this phobia is greater for me then the pain of not having it.


I would like to appologize to those who have thought I am "annoying" or "creepy" or "strange" by trying to chat with them but I am quite an open person when it comes to trying to get to know people and that may come off as strange or alarming. Please do not confuse that with what my actual intents are as I said before and that is to find support and help and talk about this phobia. I do want to say though that I try to show respect to all people and do my best to try to understand them no matter what kind of person they are. I believe I've shown respect to all the people I have chatted with and if I have done something that has made them uncomfortable or if I said something that they don't think is right I stop. It's one thing for someone to make someone uncomfortable and not do anything about it but it's another thing to make someone uncomfortable and do something about it so they aren't (even if it means leaving them alone). I consider myself to be the one who wants to do something about it and not make that person feel uncomfortable. I pretty much treat others the way I want to be treated. Sorry again to those who have misinterpreted my intents and taken our conversations the wrong way.


I think I'll leave it at that. I appreciate this site and those who have helped me with my phobia. Thank you for reading my post and feel free to ask me any questions or just say hi (would be nice to get to know more people on here). Take care.

[Sayg]

Ok now I'm confused since I tried to post it and it still says my post will not be visible until a moderator has approved it for posting. I guess it's because it's too long??? Darn.

[KimberlyP]

Yes, new members can't post long messages without moderator approval until you've had enough posts. The moderators don't really frequent the boards so the easiest way to get enough posts is to play the word games at the very bottom of the forum.

[Sayg]

Ok thank you. This is a bit strange. I wish the moderators could look at my post quicker.

[MichelleS]

Either that or maybe you could post in parts? That way it would be shorter. You would still get some of it posted then continue after its responded to?