I don't know that I would call them penpals exactly, but I've made what I would consider good friends here, and know others have as well. My sense is that just like in real life you tend to either get along well with a certain person or not. My point is that you shouldn't worry about where someone is in their recovery, as I've never found chatting with other emets to make me worse. In some cases, trying to help someone else has helped me to get unfocused from myself and how I'm feeling which helps, and if I help someone else feel better that makes me feel good, even if I can't do much, just be that person that understands. This has seemed to hold true for people that are recovering or recovered and people who are suffering as badly or worse than me. My advice is that you get the best support if you do find a few people that you trust and you support each other. You won't get much help from the mods on this one. You'll have to figure out if you get along with someone yourself, and I think the chat function here (although it leaves something to be desired) is probably a good way to do that. Just do your due diligence to make sure you know who you're dealing with before you give out any personally identifying information. Most people in online communities I frequent, I trust them, but only so far, and that's the case at IES too with a few exceptions who I know and trust a lot. These folks know who they are