i think what caused it for me was this time my grandma was sick when i was around 4. i've always been a huge mama's boy and so when my mom went on an overnight trip for work for the first time it was really scary for me, and my dad thought it might help if i stayed at my grandma's house since we were close. i was already distressed about my mom leaving and my grandma was sick that night. i don't remember ever being near someone v* before then so i had no idea what was going on. we weren't in the same room so all i knew was the sound, and god i remember it perfectly. this horrible hacking followed by a drawn-out watery 'plop' sound... i thought she was dying. when she came out of the bathroom apparently i was scared to go near her (i see her all the time now tho and i don't think she remembers this).

my dad took me home and i cried for a long time and we watched my favourite film to help me calm down. i guess he explained what happened to me and ever since i understood it i've been terrified of it. there were a couple incidents later that just further cemented my fear, and i've been debilitatingly emetophobic for around 14 years now. i'm working with my long-time therapist in hopes of beating this thing because my biggest dream is to work in medicine, and i'm in nursing school. i have 2-3 years before my clinicals and i'm terrified that i won't be able to take it.