I'm so scared. But I think that's good, right? The next few months are going to be very scary but I'm not backing out now just because I'm feeling vulnerable.

Things I've done in the past few days:

Got on a bus to my boyfriend's
Dried my hands using the middle of a hand towel instead of the corner
Eaten several times without washing my hands (or if I forgot and washed them by mistake, I ran around the house touching things to make them dirty before I ate XD)
Watched vomiting videos on Youtube
Ate chocolate at 2am when I felt sick because I was certain I would be sick if I did. I wasn't.

Things I'll be doing in the future:

Eating chicken prepared by my boyfriend in a meal on Friday
Getting on the bus Friday and staying on til the last stop instead of getting off on the second to last one
Eating meat at a restaurant in a couple of weeks instead of going for 'safe' food like soup or pasta

I feel like posting this might make me feel a bit better as I'm SO BLOODY SCARED RIGHT NOW ARGH XD I'm gonna get sick, I know it! It's winter for goodness' sake and I'm running around touching surfaces before I eat my food. I feel sick constantly right now. Ahhhh this had better cure my emet. xD