A selfish worry

[Pudsta]

Hi all! Hope everyone is well. My post is a bit of a mix, a lot of you may read this and think what a selfish so and so I am. You would be in your right to. But being fellow emets, hopefully you will understand.

a few weeks ago my partner and I moved in with his parents while we save for a mortgage. It was a big thing for me as we were going from a property where I had my own bathroom to having to share with 3 other people.
The in laws don't practice much bathroom hygiene. My dad in law always leaves the seat up which means I have to put it down. And dosent always wash his hands after peeing. I'm managing (just about) to cope. But my way of this is to constantly wash my hands in case dirty dad in law is spreading germs. (My hands are now cracked, cut, bleeding, swollen)

however, today my mother in law started FEC-T chemo for breast cancer. It was her first dose and since getting home has started being sick. BUT... When she is, she throws up in the sink. Either the bathroom or the kitchen sink. And when finished just runs a bit of water down.

In the kitchen there are dishes and cutlery draining. My mind is a mess thinking of all the germs and nasties about from it. I feel incredibly selfish for thinking of myself at a time like this, but as an emet these thoughts just take over. The whole situation (hearing her v*) has left me with terrible n as well as gagging sensations in the roof of my mouth and back of throat.

Hope u don't think bad of me xx

[horsewoman]

Oh my goodness. . What a horrible situation to be in. I would be a mess too. I would get some paper plates, plastic ware and cups and use them. Hopefully she'll quit v* in the kitchen sink! I know you dont want to be rude or insensitive. I hope your mil beats her cancer. Just try to put it in perspective. Its a tough situation for sure. Best wishes for you all.

[Leslie735]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! Both for you and your mother in law. Prayers for her and hope she beats the cancer!!! I agree with the poster above, get some paper plates and such and use those. That or wash all the dishes through the dishwasher (if you have one) and make sure dishes are cleared from the sink incase she gets sick again. Ugh I'm so sorry! Just keep in mind, she is having v* from the chemo not from being sick so you can't catch anything, but I still understand your fear.

[stopthissong]

You should feel bad or selfish, any of us here would struggle with that situation! Although yes what she is going through is terrible and I feel a lot of compassion for her and hope the side effects don't cause her much more anguish the next time she has treatment, it would freak me out too. Honestly, my face dropped when I read the part about the sink and I don't even think that's because I have Emetophobia, I would think MOST people regardless of this phobia, would find that a little strange or uncommon perhaps. Therefore I would think that it is an approachable topic to consider asking if maybe there is another way around it? Or asking your husband if he could politely say it is making you and he uncomfortable? Of course you won't catch anything as it's from the chemo but nonetheless the sound and knowledge that your plate is being washed in the same sink is highly traumatic for you. You must feel so trapped and scared and the fact that you think you are being selfish proves that you aren't! If you were being truly selfish you wouldn't have thought you were being selfish in the first place. If that makes sense. Other than politely letting someone know it's making you uncomfortable and causing you anxiety I really don't know what else you could do. It's definitely a tricky situation and you may have to keep quiet about it as it is your mother in law. Overall I just hope you hang in there and it passes quickly and you don't have to worry too much x