Hi. I'm completely new here, this is my first post aside from the "who are you" post, but I've been reading through some stuff. I never realized how scared I was of this stuff until I could completely relate with others' descriptions of how they feel.
When I was growing up, if someone in my family was sick, I would move in with my grandparents until they were well again. I couldn't stand seeing, hearing, etc, and most of all I was scared that I was going to get sick myself. My family thought I was crazy.
Now I've been married for 2 1/2 years, and I haven't been able to talk to my husband about it. Well, he knows how I feel, but we haven't had a good talk. He's been sickabout 3 or 4 times since we've been married. Once was while we were camping, which actually wasn't that bad since we were in a tent and he would go off to the bathrooms and I wouldn't have to deal with it. The other times, though, have been at home, and our bedroom is right next to the bathroom. The first time it happened I thought I'd go in and help him (I had no idea what I would do....). I was okay with it, until after it was over, and then I had to lay down on the bed because I was so weak, dizzy and shakey. The second time I had to actually leave the house afterwards and go for a drive to relax, and the third time I just stayed in bed and plugged my ears. I've always been this way. I can remember crying and crying forever when I didn't feel well when I was little, and kept asking my mom if I was going to be sick every time I felt a little something different in my stomach. I'm convinced that I was so worried about it I would make myself sick.
When I'm not feeling well, the first thing I do is take a Gravol. I have hot flashes and get sweaty, shake and my legs get weak. For some reason I want to get out of the house into the fresh air, and usually go for a drive until I start to get sleepy (when the Gravol kicks in), then go home again and sleep for 4-6 hours, feeling fine when I wake up. I'm just so scared I'm going to be sick. I never understood how people can be so calm about it, as if it's no big deal.
I've tried looking at really disgusting pictures on the internet, and have no problem with that. I have no problem saying the word or writing it (but I assume that because most posts have v**** in instead, many people have trouble with the word, so I won't use it either). I've even found a smiley (you know, those little smiley-faces that you use on a computer, called an "emoticon" here) that has a green-faced smiley v*******, and I'm okay with that.I'm an Anglican priest, and a lot of my work takes me into nursing homes and hospitals where I can see all sorts of stuff. I've been with many people when they've died, and a few times there's been v**** involved, yet somehow I'm able to separate it and deal with it, even cleaning up a few times, because it's part of my work, and I'm able to see past it to the person. I have no idea how I do it... just auto-pilot, I guess. My mom told me that it would be different when I had kids, which we haven't yet, but from hearing from others, it doesn't sound like the case.
I think it's the sound of others, and the feel for myself that I'm scared of. I hope I'm not being too graphic, but I can't believe I can relate so well with a group of people.Edited by: alongmoore
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I'm new here too, just joined today.
