Ever noticed how we emets tend to think the worst when it comes to our stomachs and getting sick? We question everything, asking "What If?" over and over again that we wear out all possiblities,...and it still isn't good enough. Our brains must get tired at all the thinking we do under the span of a minute. Our brains are like a race track, with race cars as our thoughts zooming at light speeds.
Panic attacks and high anxiety are very exhausting, both physically and mentally. At times, I canbecome tired and need to rest for a while after an anxiety attack. Sometimes my brain won't shut down, as I am still thinking the absolute worst. All of this negative thinking is a cycle that is common to most emet sufferers. I recognize it ina lot of posts here in the forum, and I can relate all too well with everyone. We are paraniod. We are scared. We fear the worst:throwing up. Getting sick is worst thing that can happen (at least to me).We tend to think in an obsessive fashion about our stomachs and anything that is related to throwing up. Factors such as a co-worker feeling ill, a loved one worshipping the porclinebowl,a stomach virus, germs,....all of these become major concerns for us.
Lastwinter, there was a major stomach virus going around called the Avian flu. This virus was nasty and unforgiving. It wouldmake people get sick, have the runs, body aches and the like. Tenants who used to live on the third floor contracted this virus. Once I caught wind that they were infected, I went nutts withLysoland water and bleach in the halls of the building I live in. The owner approved ofmy actions, claiming that due to the severity and highperson to person transmission factor, the place should be drenched in bleach. I was angry at the tenants for not informing others that the virus was present;we had a newborn on the second floor. I was scared that I was going to get this virus, and get nauseated, than get sick, and throw up, and gag, and heave, and shake.....
The more I thought about this, the more I began to feel panicky. "What if I get sick?" "What if I catch this and throw up?" "Dear God, don't let me throw up, I will do anything not to throw up...." My heart began to race. I was becoming restless. I could only focus onall the 'what if's'......my throat started to tighten up, my breathing had begun to geta little faster......"What if I get this virus from one of the doorknobs in the hallway? What if I was too late in washing everything down? What if I alreadyhave it and I am just not showing any symptoms yet? Where is my Gravol? What if I get so sick that I need to go to the hospital? I hate hospitals!!! What if I go there and see and hear other people get sick?".........
Is this familiar?
This is called the 'Catastrophic Thinking Pattern'. We thinkand assume theworst, and the more we think and dwell, the more physical symptoms ofpanic/anxietybecome present. Than we think more, and about what we are feeling, and things escalate. It doesn't take long for us to getto the top and have a full blown panic attack. Or we could hang in high anxiety for hours, even days.We become ruled by our fear, and nothing else matters.
It took me a while to understand and recognizemy catastrophic thinking process. What if, what if, and more what if........so many things that I thought about I had absoltuley no control over...at least I thought.I didn't realize that Icould control what was happening. I could attempt and learn to control MYSELF. I had the power. I needed to learn to recognize my negative thought patterns in realtion to my fear of throwing up. Thequestion 'What if?' has become an indicator for me that I am starting this negative process on my head.Sometimes I cannot control it......we all have bad days. But the key is that when I can control it by saying "So What!" to a
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Reply With Quote
