Rough time moving...

[Galadriel]

Hey all!

As you know (or may not know!) I just recently (this past
saturday) married William, and I am very happy that I did. The only
thing is that I am having a tough time adjusting to living in a new
place. I've only ever lived in one house (the same bedroom too!) my
whole life, and yea its tough. Don't get me wrong tho, I am glad I
married him, that part is fine, its just the being in a new situacion.
Its really bizzare too when I do visit home, it doesn't feel like it
used to and well that makes me sad, but I knew that I couldn't live
there forever anyways. Dad is going to end up selling it sometime in
the next few years to move in with his fiance. Anyone who has
moved/been married and dealt with this have any suggestions/similar
feelings?

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[princessmel]

Hello:


First of all, contrats on your marriage. Did you just move out of your dad's house? When I was back at home (Indiana) and moved out of my parents house, I was sad and homesick even though they were just around the corner. I was just kind of sad at first b/c I missed my old room. I really did. I especially got upset when my dad repainted it and turned it into a guest bedroom. It was my room for 27 years. You'll be sad at first, but it will get better. Remember that you can go visit your dad anytime. Bryan and I were married last June in 2004. In November of 2004, we moved to Florida. How I did that, I don't know b/c I'm so close with my parents. We've been here for almost 8 months now, and I am so homesick. There are no familiar places around here at all. It's a hard adjustment. Now I'm 1200 miles from home instead of not even a mile. I just hope I make it. I think you will be fine. You can go there anytime to visit. Last night, I felt like crying b/c I just wanted to stop at my parents to visit, but I knew I couldn't and that really upsets me. My husband and I do things here to keep us occupied. We go to the beach a lot, workout together, I do my scrapbooking, etc. People keep telling me to make friends, but I don't want friends. I want my family. I'm like bestfriends with my mom and when my mom got breast cancer a year and a half ago, I became so close to my dad. So, this really sucks for me. I'm trying my best to be happy and make the best of it, but it's so hard. You definitely don't know what you had until it's gone. My mom and I were talking about that the other day. We said we should have done more together when I was there, but we were both lazy.lol I don't now. I guess I just have really bad PMS (lol) right now, and I'm just upset. You will be fine though. You'll feel weird/upset at first, but it will go away. Just getting married and moving 1200 miles away from home is a very very hard adjustment. There have been so many fights between us. He's fine with the move. He's not as close to his family as I am. He's just not that understanding sometimes and that makes me mad. You will be fine though. Ignore my jabber.lol [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[ontariogirl]

I lived at home until late 20's, moved in with Ty's dad, about a year later Ileft when the abuse became bad, moved back home for maybe a month and than at age 31 got my own place. It was hard at the beginning but once I decoratedit was my place I feel comfortable. It will feel like "your" home, and you will love it!!!

[Galadriel]

Princessmel,

Wow that sounds rough. Yeah I think I'm in a similar
situacion to you, well as you used to be. I live now about 45 min
from my dad's place (where I grew up) and well yea I too miss my old
room. It helps tho to be able to visit. One thing that I miss is that I
grew up in the country, and here our apartment is in what I classify as
city (tho its prolly really more suburbs) but still I miss being out
there. I know this apartment is temporary tho, but still its tough.
Moving to Florida yikes! We are thinking of at some point moving to
Ohio (we are in New York now) and living there around his people.
Either way we both want to live in the country again at some point. I'm
sorry your having a tough time. It sucks cause well I feel sorta
depressed and down, and I hope that those feelings go away! William is
very understanding tho, and he says we can visit my dad's anytime, and
if I need to to spend the night there anytime too. It helps that he is
understanding. I guess for some people moving is tougher than it is on
others, I just get afraid that I will never get used to it. I know I
need to give it time, heck it hasn't even been a week yet!



Ontariogirl,

yeah bringing my stuff over helps to make it more homelike, and
it is neat that well we make the decisions now and not dad!

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[kmarie]

Hey girl...are things getting any easier on ya? They will..i promise..it takes time..and its not easy at all..liek you know i am still in the same house where I grew up..its my parents that moved out..and though its not the same..its still quite hard.


I agree .. making it your own is really going to help. This past weekend my husband and I repainted the whole house and di a little redeccorating (got rid of a lot fo junk and made it more "us")...we got rid of some of the dirt and mess my aprents left behind..and made it more ours..and I am the most happy i have been i n the two eyars we have lived there..


Keep your chin up!

[Jenneh]

hello! i didnt know u had married him! then again i hvent been around for a while so you know.


i have throughout my child moved a lot. unwillingly so. i hate moving. i hate change, simple as that.


but give yourself some time and you will readjust to it i promise you. it just might take a bit longer for you to do so than other people.


congratulations!


Jen xxx

[jesskali]

Congratulations on your marriage! I had a hard time right after I got married, too. Both my husband and I owned our own houses before we got married, so we were used to having our own space. I moved into his house, but had to give up some of my furniture. He was pretty particular at first about me rearranging things. We had several arguments during the moving process. Now, he doesn't care what I move around or how I decorate things. It was tough for me to give my house up. I had worked so hard to buy it and all of the furniture. But, I've pretty much made myself at home now nearly 3 years later.

I felt somewhat smothered right after I got married and I remember one day I was folding towels and I just felt like I had to get out of there. I started crying and went back to my emtpy house and just sat there all afternoon. My husband thought I was mad, but I just had to get away. I also got married 2 weeks before Christmas and it was tough not spending Christmas morning at my parent's house. I rememeber a few days before Christmas, I cried myself to sleep missing my family although I live only about 5 miles away from them.

Don't worry--it will get better with time. For me, the first year was the hardest.

Jess

[Hale]

Hi Laura,

Congratulations. Do you have any pics of your wedding you could post? I am getting married in August and am so nervous and excited. I left home last July and found things very strange to start with but within a few weeks began to love it and could not imagine living back with my parents. Good luck and keep us posted. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

[-celeborn-]

awww...just crossed this.



Thanks everyone for being so supportive of Laura (galadriel)



Shes having a bit of homesickness and I know this is all new and strange for her.



I moved 600 miles last sept to be here in NY state with her and I know it was very hard for me to do alone.



Everything was strange and we didnt do so well at first in person (after meeting on the web).

There were a few times when I almost gave up and went home over
everything being so out of place. So I know how shes feeling with all
this change.



Im glad Laura has all of you to talk to.

She cant talk to anyone in her family pretty much.

Her dad and brother is really all she has here and they do their best
to alienate her as much as they possibly can, so she feels alone lots
of times I know.



I really think shes come as far as she has with her fears and everything because she found this website and all of you.



I try my best to give her all the support she needs.

Since she cant rely on her family, I hope that her family here on
Emet and I are enough to help her grow into the person she wants to be.



Hale, once people start getting the copies of the pics to us Ill scan some and Laura can post them.



It was a tiny little wedding, but I honestly think Laura was more at
ease this way than having some huge thing that her mother was forcing
on her.




Edited by: -celeborn-

[Galadriel]

Thank you all for
the replies!! That is very sweet of you. Yeah moving is hard. I've
burst into tears several times wanting to go home, but well it helps
that I can visit, but its still not the same you know. Thank you for
the reassurances that it will get easier! I don't want to fight off
tears everytime I think of home or family!

William is very sweet tho, and he helps make it a lot easier for me,
just by being there and understanding. I have no idea how he made it
through moving 600 miles here with no one familiar and all that. Man I
would die. Well, you are all like family to me, and this is the best
place for support.

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[HDogg]

Before I got married, I spent the night at my fiance's place a lot (but we didn't do anything really bad- hee hee), so I got used to being there. It was weird at first, after we got married, to not spend the night at home. But before the wedding, I gradually started moving my things into his apartment to make it feel more like home. A month after the wedding, we moved into a new house. It took some getting used to, but after a couple months of marriage, going back 'home' didn't feel like home anymore. My home was with my husband. I was so excited to be starting our lives together and being newlywed, that it eased the homesickness factor. Plus, my mother drove me nuts anyway. I think she had more trouble letting go than I did.


But decorating my own place the way we wanted to, rather than my mom's style, felt really good. I got to express myself in a new way. Using all my new appliances and such from my bridal shower was fun too. Plus, newlywed sex really takes the edge off too. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


Since I know you're a Christian, dive into the Word and study passages on marriage. Talk to your pastor or churchmembers on ways to cope with the whole "leave and cleave" thing. The transition is scary, but it is wonderful to be married (most of the time.) Don't isolate yourself. Talk to your girlfriends. Go on dates with your husband. Have fun!