New user (long winded rant, sorry)

[littlebebe]

Hi Everyone,





I am new to this forum, i have been looking online as a last resort to
what has been 18 months of hell, i know this sounds a bit over the top
but i really dont know how else to put it. I really hope that by
looking on this site i will be able to find some information to help me
with what is causing me to sink further into depression, because i dont
know what else to do.





I find myself in a catch 22 situation i realise that my panic attacks
and emetophobia may be improved by medication but i am too scared to
take medication in case it leads to me being s*k, but it is getting to
the point where i am scared to leave the house and am constantly on
guard and looking for ways out of buildings and situations in case i
need to run and be ill, the worst thing is that in the whole time that
i have been suffering from the panic attacks i havent actually been
s*k but this doesnt stop me being convinced that i will be. I only
developed this fear after feeling constantly nauseous over a period of
about 10 months, which the doctors could find no cause for, so i got
used to feeling sick when out and worrying that i would v*t, although
this has improved slightly i now suffer from panic attacks which are
increasing in frequency, i am now suffering from that at work, which
has never happened before.





Im so sorry to rant but i really dont know what to do, i cant go on like this, but i dont know the best way forward.





BB









Edited by: littlebebe

[Jenneh]

i was like you for a long time -- too frightened to take medication incase it made me sick... but that happens on very very very rare cases...


i take citalopram - and it's excellent ... worth the initial anxiety about whether it's going to make me ill or not. once i am on this medication i am much more calm, i am much less depression, and the OCD tendencies go away... a big package of greatness! lol


the best way forward in my opinion is to visit your doctor. they are there for mental health issues as well as physical health ones ...


good luck


Jen xxxx

[roxxi277]

Welcome to the site! Everyone here has been very helpful, and all
are wonderful! I have been on many medications for my panic
attacks. I have never once gotten sick from any of them.
Once you get through those first few doses, you will see what a
difference it makes with your anxiety. I too, am going through a
hard time with leaving my house. I have panicked at work, and
need to plan escape routes. I am scared of elevators, and
traffic.....for fear that I will be sick and have nowhere to go.
I have been disgnosed with agoaphobia because of this. So I know
what you are going through. It can be frustrating to deal
with. Do you see a doctor for your emet and panick attacks?
I know doctors don't work for everyone, but it may be a good idea to
just give it a try. Good luck! Please let us know how you
are doing. Carrie

[willow2]

I really understand what everyone is saying!! The idea of being 'stuck' somewhere is an absolute nightmare for me! I have just completed a year course at university with 3 hour lectures throughout the week. there was a lot of class time and I spent the whole time panicing I wouldn't escape in time!! the idea of being in the cinema is a nightmare and the worst is being out for dinner and sittting away from the toilets - it sends me intoa right panic!! sitting on buses and the underground sends me into a tiz as well as the idea ofbeing in a car and all the rest of it - I am sure you all know what I mean. but then - if I wasn't any of these places, I'd still panic - I just gte scared when I feel trapped and that generally brings on the feeling of a panic attack.


I am on no medication and really I don't think that is my thing. Apart from anything else I feel I should be able to control this myself and I am too scared to admit that I can't. All my freinds and family are perfectly rational about illness - why am I not!! I'd hate to become stuck on tablets that I required to keep living a normal life and I hate the idea of not knowing what it does to us inside (other than making us feel sick).


I heard someone say that they pretended to themselves that they didn't have this fear - and maybe it's a good way to handleit. Maybe by pretending eventually it will become reality - sounds daft I know! I have no idea where to start though because at the moment this fear is at the forefront of my mind and I can't shake it at all!


Every morning I have to convince myself that I feel ok and that I will be ok - I know one dayI wont be but I can't sit around waiting for that day. i have spent so much time panicing, crying, stressing, worrying, etc and never actually been s*** that I can't risk not living my life for this. I refuse to sit in and watch life pass me by -I used to be an incredibly out going person with ambition and desire to travel and experience life - I was and still am a firm believer in 'life is a gift'. It really is and we shouldn't waste it.


Having said all this - I wish I could follow this philosophy as I remain scared, even going to the shops is a challenge for me, let alone travelling the world!! what a contradiction and I wish I was a stronger person than I am but I can't help it. Edited by: willow2

[EstherB]

Hi


Took me ags and ages to decide to go on meds because i was worried about the v* factor. I went on seroxat (paxil) which is one of the worst for making people v* and I was fine. I'm now on imipramine which was prescribed for me because it is very very very unlikely to make you v*. I think most people here are the same - we didn't want to take meds, and were afraid of the side effects, but those of us who did decide to do it have really benefitted. That's def the case for me - it's taken a few months but I am SO glad that went back on meds and can eat again, go out without major worrying and panic...


Hope you feel better and that this helps

[littlebebe]

Thanks everyone for your support, i have decided medication is the way
to go so will be hopefully getting up the courage to go to the doctors
soon, i will keep you all updated as to what happens!