Quote Originally Posted by Avath View Post
Cannot sleep. Having such bad anxiety, going in waves into panic. Feel like I am doomed. Would rather be dead in this moment. I'm trembling and my throat feels tight. Like I'm choking. I am trying to tell myself that it's because of the anxiety and not my body trying to keep vomit down. It's just anxiety. But that doesn't explain why my stomach has been gurgling so much today and why I've had a cramp come and go in my lower stomach. Trying hard to keep my hold on being brave but it feels like the tighter I grasp on to it, the harder my anxiety fights me.

Low point. Been doing so well the past few days, but right now it feels like I'm in hell. I feel like the anxiety will never go away and I will never get to sleep. My husband says I have to eat something, that I'm probably mistaking hunger pains for cramps but I don't think I am. They feel like IBS pains and that scares the living bejesus out me right now because of the dinner party I'm hosting. I feel like I am going to disappoint everyone.

Low point. Very low point.
OMG this happened to me two days ago.. I couldn't even cook for my friends..I was paralyzed with this choking/gagging feeling that I couldn't even cook them my special bbq meat.. My parents came over and helped and I calmed down because I knew they wouldn't feel weird when I was constantly clearing my throat to avoid that gagging feeling. It was the first time they had seen me like this, so it was a good thing, because now I don't have to hide it..

I also love exercise and outdoor things like skating and surfing...but i haven't surfed in years due to my anxiety, because the saltwater dries my back throat and I gag..aswell as the energy exerted trying to paddle etc


Hope your CBT is working for you, I am trying some hypnotherapy soon because my fear is closely linked to a childhood trauma (embarrassment) of being ill infront of people.