OT: Is it normal...?

[youngemet222]

This is kind of a family issue for me, but I do not know what to do.Now, my mother alwayshas used a lot of profanity and that kind of stuff around me, but recently, she has been calling me names. And I take it that she wants me to die. She has actually told me that she does not want me anymore and she said, "Why dont you just go somewhere and die?" and stuff like that. She also calls me common profane insults, likeB****,Motherf****r, and she has even called me the N-word (because I am 37.5% African American because of my father). Is itnormal for parents to do this? I am thirteen years old, but even though I am a teenager, it is still not right for her to say those things to me. Why should I have to be told by my mother, who brought me into this world, that I should not be living and all that stuff? She also makes fun of my emetophobia, but that is somewhat normal.
I almost do not want to live with her. I am afraid one day, she will kill me. I do not know why. I do not recall her threatening to do so, but I do feel she has anger management problems.


Thanks.


Elizabeth

[sillygirl]

I don't care how old you are, it is never right for a mother to call her child names like that. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? If you are really afraid she might hurt you, you really need to seek help ASAP.

[youngemet222]

Yes, but if I tell someone like my father, I will probably be taken away from my mother. Because he does not accept using profanity and insults towards kids, even if the persondoes not mean it.But, she has never actually made any threats, I think, but I do not know what she will do. I do not think she would ever kill me when I think about it, and I do not know if she really means anything she says. I probably should try to go to family counseling or something. Also, I will try to talk her into going to a place where she can learn how to deal with anger better instead of saying those things to me, but she probably will not go. I think she may just say those things to hurt my feelings.


Lizard

[sillygirl]

Maybe your dad isnt the best person to talk to. Is there anyone else you trust? A family friend or maybe a friend's parent? Even if she doesn't want to harm you physically, calling you names like that is harmful mentally. I'm not saying you need to leave your mom's house or anything, but you are right that she needs help with anger management or something. Counseling might be a good place start too. Good luck and I hope everything gets better soon!

[youngemet222]

Well. She just came up to me and apologized and hugged me. She does not ever really mean the things she says. She was mad at me for something. But she should not say things like that even if so.


I may try to talk her into counseling because even though she does apologize and stuff, the next time she is mad at me, she just says those things again.


Elizabeth

[SimplyMe]

I'm sorry you are going thru this. I agree w/ sillygirl that you should find someone to talk to. Even tho your mom doesnt' mean it and says things out of anger you are right she needs to learn to control what she says to you. She is the adult and the one responsible for keeping level headed and mature. I hope she agrees to seek anger managemnet,for both of your sakes. She can't enjoy being this way adn probably feels horrible after she realized the things she says to you that can never be taken back. Good luck, sweetie!

[hanarky]

call ur dad and move hunny.. and let a n older person know what is going
on inside your house sucha s a teacher and a councellor..
they will help
and call kids help phone they aren't there for nothing.

[shiva]

Your mother is sick and needs help. Yes, sometimes mothers get angry and say stupid things, after all they are just human, but to call you names like that and to tell you to go away.. that is not okay. She is not setting a good example for you either about what to expect from people who love you. The whole cycle of abuse and apologize could set you up for a lifetime of confusion where the "love" department is concerned. I would agree with your father who does not agree with name calling (especially where kids are concerned). And I would go to him. Could he offer you a safe and comfortable place to live?