Child Sick at Daughter's Daycare

[Renee74]

At dinner tonight, my 3 year old told us that a child got sick in the classroom today. I can't stop worrying that she and her brother (who also goes to the daycare center) are going to wake up ill. I don't want to go to sleep for fear that I'll awake to sick children. But I'm also afraid to stay awake and hear them getting sick. I'm terrified of the kids v-ing. Help?!

[Syrup]

First of all, I hate to say it, but (as a preschool teacher for 7 years) 3 year olds are not always accurate sources for information. Second, toddler v*. They just do. I had kids doing that ALL OF THE TIME in the classroom. Rarely was it from a bug. But, when it was we had bleach spray that we cleaned it up with and the child would then go to the director to be taken care of until the family arrived. NEVER did another child catch it. The chance that it was a sv* is slim, the chance that your children are going to catch something from this one incident are even slimmer.
They will eventually be sick, yes, but you will handle it and move on. That's the way it goes. You'll be FINE! You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

[Renee74]

Thank you Syrup. I did eventually go to sleep by the way :-) . I thought of several of the things you mentioned (toddlers not being the best reporters, kids propensity for upchucking, the fact that the daycare has a policy for sanitizing after such occurrences). Now, that didn't stop me from calling to ask questions first thing in the morning! And they did confirm that it happened but weren't sure if it was a virus.

I sort of know I'll be fine. But to me, parenting this set of kids feels like a string of illnesses with a few non-sick days thrown in here and there. They've thrown up more in 3 years than my oldest (22) did his entire childhood!

I just want to know how to get to the last thing you said: handling it and moving on. I don't know how to do that sans tears, anxiety attacks, and prolonged worrying about the next time.

Thank you for responding.

[Syrup]

That bit takes time but I PROMISE YOU gets easier as they get older. When you know that they would tell you if they don't feel well (rather than guessing, wondering why they are being so quiet, etc.) and beyond that, knowing that they don't need you there coddling them every second when they ARE ill it takes SO MUCH of the pressure off. It's HUGE! Mine are 10 (almost 11) and 6 1/2 and this year is the first time I'm really starting to feel like my old self. Would I get shaky and nervous if they said that they might get sick? Yes. I would. But I also know that that feeling doesn't last forever and that there are better days ahead. Just get through the moment you're in RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW nobody is ill. RIGHT NOW all is well. If you refused to allow ourselves to look into the future and the 'what ifs' that may or may not come along we'd be so much better off. WE CAN deal with the 'right now'. If while our kids were sick we didn't think about everyone else getting it and the 'what ifs' that we torture ourselves with the entire experience would be completely different!

A few years ago my son got sick at a friend's house. She's older and raised 6 kids (all out of the house) so she's well aware of how to take care of sick kids. I freaked out a bit and she was SUCH an example to me of how to view sickness. She told me to pop him into the bath, then she put on some calming music, helped me clean it up and was so calming and encouraging to me. She knows about my phobia so it really couldn't have happened in a better environment. I kept saying, 'what if he throws up again?' and she'd reply, 'well, we'll clean it up and move on with it'. If I asked, 'what if my other kid gets it', she'd reply, 'I'll help you and we'll get through'. She was AMAZING! After his bath he drifted off and she made me a cup of tea, started a fire in the fireplace and sat and chatted with me. She let me go over it over and over and remained calm the whole time. Having that rock really helped me to see that it's not the end of the world. We DO get through it! Our fear is 100% TOTALLY MADE UP in our heads. WE CHOOSE to see v* for what it's not. Having the TRUTH spoken makes all of the difference.

Sorry for the novel, just remember, every time the 'oh no, how many times am I going to have to deal with this before they are grown' thoughts creep in, respond to that thought that you WON'T always feel this way, PEACE is coming and YOU CAN and WILL survive when sickness comes. You don't know that you won't handle it well, and rather than assume that you won't, picture yourself being calm and handling it brilliantly instead. When you think about obsessing about the next time afterwards, tell yourself that they next time might be the last. The truth is that it MIGHT! You may just be able to heal your mind before anyone is sick again. If not, perhaps shortly after. Picture success, picture calm, picture the ability you have to overcome, because you CAN! xoxo

[ChiGal]

^^Hey Syrup - any way your friend could come hang out with me when my kids are sick lol? She sounds wonderful!!

All kidding aside that is great advice!! Thanks for sharing!

[horsewoman]

those type of people are my heroes! I always try to think of all the strong women I had around growing up. Those were some tough folks, they'd handle life with confidence and authority.. Some little ol sickness wouldn't de-rail them! I hope to be one of them someday ��