Hi I understand how you feel. I'm 17 and hoping to go to uni this year which I'm worried about because I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm desperately trying to get better so I can go. I also have difficulty eating and understand the struggle- you want to eat because your body needs the nutrients but your scared of what could happen. The thought is so powerful that it overrides the fact that you may be harming your body. But in that moment when you choose not to eat or only eat something small it doesn't seem to matter because it makes you feel better. I write a diary and put all my thoughts, feelings, goals and accomplishments in it. Sometimes its good to write your thoughts down, especially if your seeing a Councillor or psychologist because sometimes when you get to the appointment you forget. Any ways continue to try and make progress even if its small steps. Try to challenge yourself- set small manageable goals. Whether that be to do with you eating or any other area that you have difficulty with.
Well good luck and stay strong. Never give up!!