On the subject of trying not to v, a few years ago my mindset was definitely 'I'd rather die than v' but a couple of years ago I caught an sv off my daughter and there was no preventing 'it'. After it happened I felt almost euphoric as I hadn't v'ed for so long and I'd fought so hard not to. I had felt so so bad before it happened that when it did happen I just instantly felt so much better, and was so pleased that I'd done what was the worst thing ever and survived!
I've tried to hold on to the memory of that feeling so that if I (or my worst fear, one of my daughters) feels s* I remember that if it really needs to happen it's best to try to let it happen then it feels much better afterwards.