she didnt understand

[bexcelica]

me and my friend kelly have been friends since kindergarten. her mom
once said we were soul mates - we are the same. shes been through a lot
- her mom died, leaving a fiance of 7 years... i told her about my
phobia and she laughed at me. after being best friends for 15+ years.






then me and her friend from work were talking about anxiety and she
said to me "you dont have anxiety - its all in your head you just have
to stop thinking about it"



can anyone here just stop thinking about v* when theyre anxious????



why doesnt she get it ive been there for her thru thick and thin

[sillygirl]

Some people just don't understand. It took my husband a really long time to understand, he had to see me completely scared out of my mind before he really got it. It is inconceivable to some people that we can be afraid of a bodily function, but we can't help it. Try and be patient with her and she will have to try and be patient with you. I take it this is the first time you have mentioned it to her. It will take some time, but I wouldn't stress over the friendship. She may never understand - some people just can't. That's why we are all here for each other

[SimplyMe]

I'm sorry she didn't understand. I agree that many people don't. Maybe when you two are alone you could explain to her that it hurt you, tell her everything that this phobia does to you and let her know that while she may not understnad it you would appreciate her support. Since you have been friends so long she obviously cares about you and she probably didn't mean to come off as she did. I hope it works out for you! and sillygirl is right some people, no matter how much they love us, never get it! If that's the case w/ her then in times of emet freak outs you will have to lean on someone more supportive and of course there is always us![img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[Eternity]

Because shes lucky. If you really want to make her get it then you haveto relate it to stuff that she can understand, perhaps? When I told my mother thatbeing near sick pplwas a bit like being in the basement in the movie aracnophobia would be for her she got it. lol.


My first response would be f*** her shes not much of a friend if she doesnt even try to understand, though.

[steph77]

one of the best ways i've found to explain this phobia to people who don't or won't understand it, is to ask if they are afraid of anything...heights, small spaces, spiders... if they are not phobic, but are afraid of it, ask them to multiply that fear my 100....explain that, no, it's not rational, but that's what a phobia is, and it may be a part of mental illness. illness is the key word....would she think you were making it up if you had diabetes? probably not. maybe if you explain it to her like that, she'll understand...or at least try to.... i hope this helps..good luck. i hope things work out

[sage]

Phobias are very difficult to "explain" to the average person. The trick is to stay in calm communication with her, rather than isolating yourself further from others by "writing her off". Make a date with her to go to a coffee shop to talk about "something that's very important to you". Then sit her down and tell her 1) how much her response hurt you, and 2) more about the nature of the phobia.


Print out the paper I wrote - it's on the top of the Treaments thread under "Important Topics". It's called "INFO TO GIVE YOUR DR. OR FAMILY". Ask her to please read it if she wants to remain your friend and understand you. You may even ask her to read it before you meet her for cofee.


But take this seriously, and be mature about the way you approach her. I find with most emets, they are isolated from support networks and this eventually makes the phobia much worse. Make her understand - it's up to you.