Looking after my babies

[annbarwick]

Hi, I am a new member - joined today. I have had this phobia for as long as I can remember. I will be 40 this year and have two small children under 3.


The reason I came looking for company today is that I had a call from my kids nursery (they go four days per week because I work) to say that my little girl had a bit of d* and that there is a sv doing the rounds.


My partner was due to be late home so I knew I had to pick my kids up and feed them. Play with them then bath them and put them to bed - all with the worry in the background that one of them might v*.


I love my babies soooo much and I am really trying hard not to let them see how scared I am when they are ill. I don't want to pass this problem on to them.


Anyway - I coped pretty well and they are both tucked up in bed now. My partner is back and all is well with the world - another crisis over - feel a bit shakey but managed to eat something - the sv doing the rounds is still playing on my mind a bit. Reading some of the discussion threads here really helped.


Does anyone else have small kids at nursery?They seem to be breeding places for bugs of all descriptions - any useful coping techniques?

[swiftette]

It's so hard when they are so little. You could ask the nursery school sitter how they disinfect once the children have gone home. Ask if they practice good hygeine with the children. At that age it's so dificult because as you know, everything goes in their mouths. Give it some time and their imuntiys will develpe as well. Untill then, just try to hang in there and practice good handwashing. I have a policy at home that if it's been pooped on or v*ed on-throw it out or bleach it imediatly.

[annbarwick]

yes - the last nursery they went to wasn't as good as this one - they seemed to keep getting sv's that went round the whole group!


I find I wash my hands so much now that they get sore.


I am extra worried at the mo because my little girl has just passed her first birthday and I have just stopped breastfeeding - worried that she is more vulnerable now.


your two look gorgeous Swiftette - it is hearbreaking to read the stories of parents who lose contact with their kids through this awful phobia - that terrifies me - I have been able to stay with them so far when they have been sick but it is a real struggle - cold sweats, tremblingetc and I worry that they pick up on that sort of thing. I wonder if it is better just to clear out of the way. My partner is VERY supportive - after reading stuff on gut-reaction website and others.

[swiftette]

Don't worry, I never breastfed and my girls were very rarely sick when they were toddlers. Actually they never even got so much as an ear infection untill this year when my six year old got one. Thank you-yes those are my little dolls at Halloween when they were 2 years and 5 months old. I stuggle as well. Luckily my girls (8and6) are old enough for me to explain to them about my fear and reassure them that is is'nt their faultwhen they are sick and they should'nt be scared but mommy just gets really anxious. My eight year old is great about it.Even at the Dr. and dentist, she is fearless, but my 6 year old gets very anxious. Just yesterday I took them to the dentist for their cleanings. Well, my six year old Alia was as happy as a clam, drawing pictures of teeth with smile faces on them and she wrote on one of them"I love my teef"and happily presented it to her dentist. She skipped all the way in, but when the dentist walked her out after her cleaning she told me Alia was shaking like a leaf the whole time. I think anxiety is hereditary-my mom and cousins and aunts are all "nervous" people(at least thats what my mom calls it). I really did'nt know anxiety was a disorder untill I became an adult. You just have to handle things the best way you can and ask for help where help is needed.Your children know you love them , don't get wrapped up in all this guilt we make ourselves feel. We have many more stong points then we give ourselves credit for.

[mrskatz]

I know exactly how you feel! I, too have two small kids in daycare. Yes, they pick stuff up there. I just wash them with hand sanitizer when I pick them up. That's all you can do. On two occasions, my daughter has caught the sv and either v**** ON me or very near me. And guess what? My world did not come to an end. I have a very supportive husband who knows if v**** is involved, he is in charge. Really the WORRY that it MIGHT happen is worse than the actual event. It sounds like you coped very well, so congratulations.

[manda92]

hi i m new here to and i to am terrified of my daughter being s* she is 4 and i often try and find an excuse to sleep downstairs on the sifa in case she is poorly in the night i to am trying hard not to let her see my fear as i dont want her to get it,


although like the person in the othe rpost when she has been ill my hubby deals with her i can clear up the mess its always been when shes in bed hense my fear of going to bed at night i cope better than i think but hte fear of the unknow and expecting is worse than the event .


take care


manda

[annbarwick]

Hi Manda, you are already dealing with my worst fear! My little boy and his sister are still in cots with sides so they cannot come into our room. I am dreading the day when they come in cos they feel ill - I will have to do like you and sleep downstairs.


I feel so bad though when they need me cos they feel poorly and I have to let them down. It seems like when they are full of beans and happy they want their dad and when they are tired or ill they want me - I suppose that is nature. I do try to focus on the fact that fortunately they are hardly ever s* - actually my little girl is 13 months and has never v*. My little boy is ill roughly twice a year. I def agree with both the last two posts - the fear of the event is much worse than dealing with the actual situation.

[donna1216]

Hey there, you sound like me. I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and an 8 week old, and I am just dreading the older ones going back to school and then winter and all of the SVs that come along with it, my kids have gotten sick every year for the past 3 years and I am just praying that it ends soon. I am breastfeeding my son and hoping that he stays safe from the girls' germs this year.


I really don't have any advice for this, just sympathy, I know how you feel!

[annbarwick]

Oh thanks Donna - I know what you mean about the approach of Winter - Autumn/(Fall?) used to be my favourite season but it has taken on a whole new meaning since I had my children!!...... Last year I was still feeding my little girl so she was fine - you should be fine too shouldn't you with your little boy cos breastfeeding does seem to protect them doesn't it. That just leaves the older ones.... hey ho.

[sage]

Hi Guys,


I know that this is only a temporary measure, and way to go is to actually get the anxiety treated...but meanwhile...when I had young kids I kept my bedroom door LOCKED. if they were sick in the night, they knocked at the door. Yes, that scared me, but I could at least wake up and get my wits together. ALSO my husband was the one who dealt with them. He would leap out of bed and go to the door immediately.


The benefit to this was PEACEFUL SLEEP. I didn't have to EVER worry about a kid standing beside my bed and throwing up. I can totally sympathize with you guys who are afraid to sleep in your own beds. Try the door lock!