Any mothers out there that could give me advice?

[empulse]

Hey ladies, I was just wondering...
If you were suffering from emetophobia, and had a child.. How did you manage to get through it? I'm 24 and fear I'll never be able to have a family. Not for fear of not being able to take care of a sick child, but for fear of morning sickness. I'm not so scared of others throwing up, it's me. I'm terrified to do it myself. I want to have a family some day, but I honestly don't know. I feel like the second I find out I'm pregnant, I'm going to constantly feel ill because I know what's to come. How did you ladies get past it? How did you manage to find out you were pregnant and carry the baby to full term?

[thecheesecake17]

Im exactly the same ! want a husband and the whole thing but only the good sides of it ; to be honest..I've been in love before and didnt want anything more than the thought of marrying him and one day having his kid..but then he got a bug and I became seriously hesistant about the whole thing..I had a six month anxiety attack and dropped lots of weight and i wasnt even looking after him! its a battle .. butttt I think we need to remember that we will get sick between now and when we die - probably better to have a good family and love because/for it instead of being alone in the future ; nothing worse than being sick and alone ... also I suppose if others are sick we could have the help of others who really dont mind... maybe that makes me a bad parent...

[SamiMichelle08]

Hey there! I'm a momma of an almost 2 year old and am 29 weeks pregnant! I think it is completely normal even for a non-emet to feel scared and nervous when finding out you're pregnant. With my daughter, my husband and I tried to get pregnant for almost a year. I knew I wanted a family and was willing to v to have one. Once I found out I was pregnant I immediately panicked, even though it was truly a miracle that I was pregnant and I was over the moon excited!! Thankfully, the whole pregnancy and delivery went wonderfully! I took zofran as needed for any nausea and I never v! It was wonderful!! Once my daughter turned one my husband and I decided we were ready for another. We waited a few months for my body to get "regular" again and we started trying. We fully expected it to take us another year or so to get pregnant... But nope, first month we tried it happened!! I freaked out!! I was so excited but could not get over that I was going to have 2 kids under 2 lol. Only 2 weeks after finding out I was pregnant my little girl came down with a terrible stomach bug. (It was her first one)...my heart broke for her because she didn't understand what was happening. And I ofcourse went on a cleaning frenzy! My husband got it only 2 days after she had it but I seemed to have been in the clear.. TWO weeks later, I contracted it. The first time in 6 years, I v. I was traumatized. I didn't understand if it was a sv or ms. But the rest of the first tri I never got sick again so I've chalked it up to being a sv. A few months go by and I was still having panic attacks weekly because of that dang v episode. And then BAM, my daughter catches ANOTHER bug! I went into full anxiety/body shut down mode. I started to really dislike this pregnancy because of all the sickness I had came in contact with... I felt doomed! Ofcourse, being a momma I had to swallow my fear and clean up after my little girl. I unfortunately got it 4 days after she had it. But this time something was different. I had just hit 24 weeks in my pregnancy and instead of being fearful that I'd keep v, I was fearful that something would happen to my sweet baby girl on the way. After that night of being sick, my mind has been more content than ever! I haven't had an anxiety attack since the day before I v. I am completely at peace that it happened. I knew once it did happen, I had two ways of looking at it. I could panic and freak out. Or I could tell myself that it wasn't bad. I went for option #2 and it's helped so much!


I also think it helped that I knew so much worse could happen than just v. Having a baby at 24 weeks is not only ideal but can be very fatal.. So once I started to contract from dehydration, I marched my butt into Labor and Delivery for fluids and to be monitored. It made me realize what was most important in life. My babies will always always always be my top priority!


Now, don't get me wrong.. I still hate v! A few days ago I still got the shakes from being n and was afraid it would turn into me v. It didnt though and so I'm going to keep going the way I am until that unfortunate day does come.


Anyway, parenthood isn't for anyone so don't feel bad if you think it's not for you. I'm so happy that I chose to not let me fear bind me down though. I can't imagine my life without my daughter and I'm sure I'll say the same thing once daughter #2 arrives in a few months!

[empulse]

Thank you for responding! SamiMichelle08, how did you feel before you ended up v? Did you go into a panic attack? Was it scary? It's been so long for me, 15 years! And I know it'll happen again someday, but I'm very much dreading it. What was the experience like for you?

[tiredofitall]

I so wanted to be a mother that I just jumped in with both feet and hoped for the best. No morning sickness at all with the first pregnancy and all day sickness with the second, but no v. My oldest son would get the sv at least once a year when he was young while the younger son has only had it two or three times in almost 20 years (my sons are adults now). It was very difficult when either one would v when they were young but I somehow managed to survive. I'm still pretty phobic but it does not control my life like it did when my first child was a toddler. I had som grim times but it was all worth it because they are amazing men and I could not imagine my life without them. Oh yeah, although my oldest had the sv a lot from 18 months to about age 14, I never once caught it from him. I did get it from my other son once but that was because he was still in diapers and I had no idea he had a sv so I guess I wasn't being careful enough during diaper changes. In any event, if you want children you should just do it. You can handle whatever happens.

[tryingtoovercome]

I was 23 when I got pregnant and super scared. I can tell you that I never once V. I had very few moments of N but they were very tolerable and simply eating or laying down made me feel better. I never even felt close to V. I was worried most in my last trimester because of labor. I heard a lot of women V during labor especially with an epidural. my goal was to have a natural, unmedicated labor. Well I went natural for 44 hours and then broke down and got an epidural for the pain. I did not V once during labor and felt amazing after getting the epidural. Every pregnancy is different. I had a very smooth one with very minimal side effects. If you want a family, don't let pregnancy stop you. There's many many ways to alleviate the N and it usually only last for a short period of time anyway.

[SamiMichelle08]

I'm just now seeing your response!

So in September before I v, I completely was caught off guard. I just felt n and figured it would go away shortly. I lit a candle because my husband made dinner that smelled a little too strong for my pregnancy nose.. after I lit it that v feeling rushed over me. I ran upstairs to my bedroom and it happened. I didn't really have time to panic. But then about an hour later it happened and I definitely panicked.


5 weeks ago when it happened, I started massively panicking because of the pain I was in. Any time I sipped on water I would feel n and my back and ribs hurt terribly. It's by far worse than my recovery with my c section. It was terrible. When I realized I may v, I remained calm and walked into the bathroom. My husband was there and put a wet rag on my back.. my body was trying to v but I had nothing in my belly so I couldn't. That happened another time about 20 minutes later.. and I was even more calm that time. After that time I realized I was starting to have contractions pretty close together so I told my husband we needed to head into L&D. Once my parents came to pick up my daughter I started to cry.. I had never been away from her over night. Once I started crying it triggered me to be sick. I had absolutely no time to react. I just ran to the bathroom and let it happen. Afterwards my pain in my back and ribs were gone. I was so relieved. I slept for two days afterwards and I remember telling my husband that I'd rather just get the sv when my daughter has it instead of worrying myself sick for weeks. It was seriously not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be! Even 5 weeks later I'm still in shock at how "easy" it all was!