still scared after 72 hours of not well

[jsquared]

I haven't been on here in quite a while. things in my life were really starting to get better. i have a one-year-old girl who lights up my life, i've been seeing a therapist finally and dealing with my anxiety/phobia. I even got approved for SSD and don't have to work for awhile.

Yet here i am. Saturday night I ate some fast food which I don't normally do anymore. My tummy was bothering me so i set up my usual safety zone (just being alone in our master bedroom with tv and my phone and maybe a good book). I was freaking with anxiety a bit and texted my mom which usually helps. But i just continued to feel off. The next day I ended up having some d but it wasn't too bad and my husband offered to take our daughter for the day to his parents so i could rest. I just do so much better when i am alone in the house. part of my awful phobia i guess. anyway, i was still feeling weak with no appetite but didn't really have anything else on sunday. monday i woke up thinking i still didn't feel 100% but able to get up the baby and start the day. as the day went on however i started feeling icky again. ended up having my father-in-law come get the baby which made me feel so guilty and like a terrible mom. started having d and it hasn't stopped since.

here is the thing. it's not like d i've had before. this is like all fatty stuff and is accompanied by horrible gurgling. yesterday i had more crampy type pains. I thought a few times i might v but i haven't even though i'm still terrified. but i almost feel hungry too which is just bizarre. and i'm reading up on yellow d and it's freaking me out thinking i have cancer or some parasite. I've had bugs before where i felt awful for about 12-24 hours and it eventually ran it's course. but this doesn't seem to be going away. my mom thinks it's my anxiety but i'm not working myself up as much as i normally do. i probably need to go to the urgent care but that does freak me out. i don't know what tests they will do and it scares me. sometimes after the d i feel almost better which is not what i'm used to. i tried to eat some banana earlier today and some ginger ale and they tasted decent to me. but an hour or so later it started again. just bag gurgling and fatty d.

has anyone experienced this? i'm so afraid it won't go away and it's something chronic which is my worst fear. i mean i would rather have strep or a broken bone you know? I need to take care of our daughter--she needs her mommy but i feel so bad. how can i almost be hungry and try to eat but still have to go have d??

i just want to crawl in a hole and wither away but i have to think about my daughter. now i'm scared i'm pregnant again but it's too early to test and if i am then that is even worse. and the guilt just keeps coming.

[LAnn24]

It's fast food. Junk food takes 2-3 days to get out of your system as well as other food. If I ate that I would have d* and feel horrible

[jsquared]

Thanks for the reply! I actually went to the ER today. Was up all night with D and was afraid of dehydration and something being really wrong. I was so scared to go because home is my safe space but I knew I needed answers. They hooked me up to an IV and ran tests. It was the nicest ER I've ever seen! I had my own room with a TV. Anyway all test came back good except they won't have the stool lab back until tomorrow. They went ahead and started an antibiotic in case it's a bacterial thing. I've been able to eat a bit more at home and rest. Hoping it's near the end as I miss my little girl and taking care of her. I really need to stay smart and stick with my safe foods and STAY AWAY from evil fast food. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a brand new start!

[LAnn24]

It will be! I haven't eaten much in going on 4 days so whatever you do eat! Even if it's your safe foods. I had to see the doctor and get blood work due to not being able to eat and having trouble drinking because I'm so scared I'll get sick. I'm happy you're ok now!