Had to see someone v* today (graphic)

[alexikiss]

Ugh.

Today I was driving and I witnessed something that has never happened to me before. There was a traffic light, so I leaned over to get some hand lotion out of my purse. When I looked back at the road, I saw the back door of the car in front of me closing after something had spilled out onto the road. For a split second I thought "oh no" but managed to convince myself that he had just dumped water or something out...until the car stopped again a few moments later and the door opens again. This time there was no mistaking what was happening. I got in the next lane as soon as possible and that's what the panic attack hit. My heart was racing and I began hyperventilating. I started trembling violently and my foot was shaking like hell on the gas pedal. I wasn't even sure I could continue driving but I was also afraid that if I stopped to calm down, I would get worse because I wouldn't have the task of driving to distract me.

Like I said, I've never had this happen to me before and I'm a little worried that now traffic jams will begin to make me uneasy, similar to how I don't like being in crowds for the same reason. It was a car full of younger people, so most likely there had been drinking. It ruined my whole day, this coming after I had just had a terrible week with other life issues and was finally beginning to feel more uplifted. Ugh. I just wanted to share it here because there isn't anyone else I can really tell about this who will understand why it bothered me so much.

[AndreaAndee]

Hi! The same thing happened to me several years ago. We were actually on the highway in January, snow on the ground. Not many people driving....we approached a car along the side of the road, and just as we were going by, a guy opened the door and leaned out and.................I was FREAKING out!!! What are the odds that we would be going by just at that exact time??? I started hyperventilating like you, driving faster. It was me, hubby, and the kids in the car. NOT fun! I couldn't get it out of my head for the longest time. I thought it was some sort of foreshadowing. Well, that was several years ago...but yes, I still am careful not to look at cars pulled over. Sighhhhh. Hang in...

[alexikiss]

Hi! The same thing happened to me several years ago. We were actually on the highway in January, snow on the ground. Not many people driving....we approached a car along the side of the road, and just as we were going by, a guy opened the door and leaned out and.................I was FREAKING out!!! What are the odds that we would be going by just at that exact time??? I started hyperventilating like you, driving faster. It was me, hubby, and the kids in the car. NOT fun! I couldn't get it out of my head for the longest time. I thought it was some sort of foreshadowing. Well, that was several years ago...but yes, I still am careful not to look at cars pulled over. Sighhhhh. Hang in...

Thanks for your comment, AndreaAndee. I would usually get nervous when I saw a door opening in traffic regardless. It was stuck in my head all last night. It really disturbed me, almost the same as if I had seen someone get killed or a bad accident. I hate to compare it to something more serious, because I know that would be a million times more traumatizing...but that's how it was. I thought the same thing - what are the odds of this happening in front of me? When I thought of all the things that had to go right (or wrong) in order to set up this scenario...like, if only I had skipped flossing my teeth. If only I had gone to Starbucks first. If only I hadn't laid in bed so long looking at Instagram. I felt like it was a test of some sort and I already had been through a stressful enough week as it was with other things, I had to see this?? Ugh. So disgustingly vile.

[seelayna]

Ugh! I know exactly what you're talking about. I went to a concert a few days ago, which was a really big deal for me because I haven't been out of the house for any significant length of time for a long while because of my anxiety among several other issues. So you can imagine that it was already nerve-wracking enough for me to be out in public in such a large crowd of people. I was fully equipped with all of my anti-n* and v* remedies. Anyway, I met two old friends in line since it was an entirely general admission concert and they happened to already be there. The second I got there, the vibe was off. It was broad daylight and they had already made their way through an entire bottle of wine and two-thirds of a bottle of tequila. I don't drink mainly because my mental state is already precarious enough without the addition of alcohol but also because my crippling fear of v*. It was clear that I was going to have to babysit the both of them because they were too far gone to be able to look after themselves. In addition to the alcohol, they also brought along edibles, which only one of them ended up taking. Anyway, to make a long story short I ended up having to witness one of them v* multiple times. I immediately went into panic mode and wanted nothing more then to take off as far and as fast in the opposite direction as possible. But I couldn't. The tickets were expensive and I was also there with my sister. So I toughed it out but it was all I could really think about and even though I knew she v*ed as a direct result of mixing way too much of way too many different things together, I was still paranoid that she had a sv or fp and that I would catch it. I was and still am so disgusted and disturbed by the situation that I am worried I will forever have a negative association in place surrounding concerts, which are one of the few things I really look forward to as well as with the band we saw that day, who are my absolute favorite. Sorry for all the rambling but just know that I definitely sympathize and i hope that you're doing a bit better!