I actually agree with you on the fear of loosing control. It's a big part of my emet, too.

Mine actually stems from my mother being terrified of it when I was younger. I remember having strep and telling my dad that my belly hurts and she literally ran out of the room. And her crying and panicking, because she once v* because she drank too much wine. Luckily, I only remember having one sv* in my life (I'm 19) and I remember her being locked in her bedroom the entire time and my dad comforting me because I was really scared it won't ever stop (I think maybe that's my ''traumatic experience'').

I did once again v* when I was 16 and I had too much to drink (because, do 16-year olds even have limits?) and my mom was okay with it, she actually laughed at me because she thought it was hilarious and I still don't really know why, because I was terrified and I remember trying to stop it, even though I was drunk. I am the same way as her, I'm terrified of people v* near me, but if it's from alcohol, I'm always ready to help them out, even if they v* really close to me or even on my clothes. It actually bothers me less than it bothers non-emets.