Son has D* and feels S* AGAIN!

[pookey30]

Hello to everyone who has been following my posts.


Well tonight he was fine. He had his dinner and 10 mins later he was rushing to the loo with D* and was crying saying that he felt S*.


Tomorrow is Friday and I am here on my own with him tomorrow and Saturday.


I called the doctor today. The first appointment is 3 weeks. If I am still here tomorrow I will get him an emergency appointment. I will keep him off nursery and go and see them. I know they are going to tell me that it is a viral infection. I can't cope with this anymore. My very worst nightmare is existing in my life.


I really want to go tonight. Do I take my 14 week old daughter with me?


I spoke to the psychologist this afternoon. She will see me for anINITIAL APPOINTMENT ONLY to discuss my therapy needs in the middle of FEBRUARY. I can't believe I have to wait that long. I can't afford to go private. If my son continues v* this often I won't be here in February. I am so desperate and I can't get help. I am going to loose my children because of this phobia and I can't get help now.


As I am sitting here, my son is in bed. If I hear a noise, ie, the man next door or Ashley putting his lager down on the table I think it is my son getting up. We have wooden floors so I usually hear him. Every slight noise I get a hot flush and my heart speeds up and I shake. I cant take this. My son went into our bed at 11.30 pm last night and I was still down here. So, instead of going to bed in my bed I went in his. If I stay tonight I will sleep downstairs as he felt s* when he went to bed. If he is okay when he goes to bed I am usually okay in his bed. How bad is it that I cant even sleep in the same bed as my son?


I feel so useless. My children need a mother who can be with them when they are ill. Not one who gets in her car and drives away. I cant explain how hard it is to come back . I just want to keep driving.


If I don't post tomorrow you all know that I left. I really have had enough now. I want to go.


Karen [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


xxx

[kel12347]

Pookey, invite that 13 year old over again for the weekend. Don't leave permanently. If you have to leave, find someone to watch your son, and leave just long enough for the anxiety to calm down. I will be online on and off throughout the weekend, as I'm sure lots of us will be. My Yahoo IM is kel12347 - just IM me and I can help talk you through your anxiety.


Does anyone else want to post their IMs or whatever so Pookey can hopefully have round the clock support if she needs it?

[pretty polly]

Karen. Please don't do anything rash.

Just for a second imagine you do leave. What then? For a day or so,
you may feel okay, but what happens after that? Realistically, how
are you going to feel? Surely, you will start to miss home, you will
miss your little boys cuddles, his little mannerisms, and the funny
things he says. Eventually you must doubt that you have done the
right thing. Can you imagine life without your children in your life,
ever, at all? Can you imagine life on your own, forever? Running
away will not end your constant worries and suffering. Wherever you
go, you will still carry this awful baggage that we are lumbered with.
All the advice I can offer is that no matter how bad it seems today,
right now - tomorrow can only get better. No matter how awful these
horrible horrible viruses are to endure, for us and our family, in the
grand scale of things, they last only a day or so, and we always,
always get thru them. Somehow. And when we have, when we've
survived, we feel on top of the world (for a day or so.)
Please, please Karen don't do something you will surely regret. We
will always be here for you, try and be positive. My heart is with you. [img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]

[tayda]

Karen! Don't do anything rash, that you will surely feel terrible later for! You're a great mother who is trying to face her worst nightmare, and thusfar you have been successful!! Don't quit now.. not only do you need to fight this thing for yourself, but for your son! You will be here tomorrow because you're a strong and determined woman, and you have always stuck it out like a trooper so far. We all feel weak sometimes, like we can't do things... but WE CAN!! YOU CAN!! Stay right where you are, bust out a xanax or Adavan (if you have any, in case you need it) and use any calming method you can! Listen to Kel and call that 13 -year-old back or some member of the family or friend to help you. You'll get through it, it will be alright. Maybe open some windows, play some music, or maybe even go for a walk... the air may have a calming effect. But please stick around..

[harmonygirl72]

I think I posted this before, but mine are:


AIM: harmonygirl1972


Yahoo: harmonygirl72


MSN: [email protected]


Kel, I added you to my Yahoo, too. I hope that's okay!


Mary

[pretty polly]

At the risk of sounding like a complete numpty - whats an IM? I'd
post mine if I know what the devil it was??

[kel12347]

Sure Mary, that's cool!

[harmonygirl72]

Pretty Polly.


IM means Instant Message! Like if you have any of those programs, AOL, Yahoo or MSN to chat!


Mary

[pretty polly]

Mary - i have never used a chat room before - goes to show what a
computer novice I really am - always thought they were for kids and
nutters - how wrong can u be! I go on the net thru wanadoo, does
that help?

Karen - how ya doing? Hang in there...

[harmonygirl72]

Hey Pretty Polly,


Well, I have no idea what wanadoo is, or, for that matter, what a numpty is! The instant message programs are a little different from chat rooms, in that you just chat with one person. You can google them if you are interested. AOL instant messenger, Yahoo Instant Messenger or MSN Messenger are the ones I have. You can download them for free and chat to your friends online! I like it for when I am freaking out about something emet-related and I have someone to talk to who "gets it".


Mary

[pookey30]

Harmony Girl.


Trying to get you through MSN but it says you dont exist. I havnt got Yahoo, only MSN.


Thanks


Karen

[crystalmom]

Karen I have MSN too!


[email protected]


Crystal

[2jo2]

Karen, if your son has a viral infection, it's one heluva virus because he's been doing this for an awful long time. No one else in your house has been sick, have they? I am just really skeptical that it's a contagious virus. Please get your son to the doctor and don't just let them blow you off.


On another note, I am horrified that you have to wait until February for an appointment. Are there any organizations near you that are charities and would offer counselling at little/no charge? Women's groups? Churches? At least so that you could talk to someone and sort things out. I can see that you're desperate, and I really want to help you!!


Please keep us posted.

[crystalmom]

I completely agree with 2jo2. You have got to get some help...now! Please be strong, and know we are here if you need us!


Good luck tonight *hugz*


Crystal

[harmonygirl72]

Karen,


What is your MSN address? If I add you, it might work!


Mary

[bexcelica]

karen, do you have aim? or aol?

[stella9]

Okay first things first.


This may make things a bit easier. He apparently does not have a stomach virus, meaning whatever is going on with him ---- you can't catch. Usually that makes things about 90% better for most emets.


Take each hour at a time. Yes, get that 13 year old in. Second, get your son to the pediatrician so you can get a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist.


My son v*** alot as a baby and toddler. It was horrible. He had acid reflux as a baby. He had rotavirus for two weeks when he was two and a half years old. We have had so much v***. Last year we learned he was lactose intolerant and has IBS. It took a pediatric gastroenterologist and an endoscopy to find out what was going on. You must do something, if not just for your sanity but for him.


Stella

[gubba]

karen, My son had V*'d on and off for over 24 hours due to a very bad cough. I took him to the Dr. today to make certain for my own sake that it was not a stomach issue and it was not. He has been so S* and high fever. Yes, I have wanted to run so many times and I have actually sat and cried while he sleeps. I am scared to death, but I know it will eventually go away.


It scares me that your son is so sick each weekend. How does this happen to you and I want to grab you and help you so much because I know how difficult it is. DO NOT LEAVE FOREVER!!!! Get the 13 year old on the phone and overto the house. Walk around the block and get some fresh air. Sit and cry if you need to. It is so hard and I am still going through it myself with my son, but somehow we can manage. This EMET thing is awful ...an evil monster that is ruining our lives if we let it. DON'T LET IT. You are strong and have been through so much in the last year or so. i know that it is not much help knowing you can't catch what he has, but I can assure you that no child V*'s every single weekend unless there is something really wrong...NOT AN SV. He needs an emergency appointment. He can't feel well if he is so s* all the time.


You are such a good lady and you deserve to enjoy life. I know it is easier said than done. I have not slept in 2 nights. My son was up all night last night V*ing.I shook, sweated and was grinding my teeth all night. I did what I did for love and knowing that he needed me made me step up to it. i could not hold him or comfort, but he was so sluggish he could hardly move. PLEASE KNOW that your son loves you and without him he will be worse. Get him to a Dr. and then if you feel that you can't handle it, get your partner involved. Tell him that you cannot take this. You are not crazy and you don't deserve to be without love due to this phobia. you can do this...you can and you will. DO NOT LEAVE!!!

[kentuckygalrk]

Please don't leave... you are so strong... you've proven it SO many times already.


I've always thought that medical care in the U.S was waytoo expensive... butwhen I hear of people in other countries who can'tget their children in to see a doctor when they're really sick... I understand why. I wish I could fly you here myself so your little guy could be seen first thing tomorrow!


Please gethim seen as soon as possible.I'll be honest in saying that it's probably nothing more than a food allergy or nerves (perhaps seeing you sonervous isaffecting him?)... but it could be other things that are far worse, things you don't want to mess with. SoI'ddefinitely go for the emergency appointment, especially if he isactually ill.


and just out of curiousity... what did he eat for dinner?


Hang in there, be strong, and call in the back ups if you need to. If you feel like you have to leave please don't make it forever. You've said yourself that youknow your fearhas already affected your son and he knows that it bothers you...if he knowshe'sthe reason you left... well... yeah...


Just please stay strong!


~Rachel

[pookey30]

Kentuckygal.


He was at nursery today. He had liver and bacon. I dont know what they gave him this afternoon. I told them not to give him Scrambled eggs as the last two times he had this he v*.


Thinking about it this morning - he doesnt like milk. So when all the other children are drinking milk they give him a cup and get him to go and get some water. They send him into the bathroom. There are a lot of sinks in there as it is a nursery but only one tap is drinking water. If he goes to the wrong tap the water is from a tank and the building was made in the 1960's. The tank isnt drinking water. I told them at school today to not let him get his own water. I am going to take bottled water in and see if that helps.


Karen

[sage]

It's also entirely possible that your son is suffering from ANXIETY - or at the least, anxiety-induced gastrointestinal problems. Your anxiety is so high, that he just HAS TO BE "catching it". Little baby animals of all kinds get extremely anxious if mummy is anxious. As "animals" it's indicative of danger lurking about - predators and such.


No matter how much you "reassure him", the very smell of your sweat, and facial muscle coding will "tell him" that danger is around.


I'm no doctor, and I would certainly advise seeking medical opinions, but be sure to CLEARLY MENTION to the dr. or paediatrician that YOU are anxious over the top. Ask if this is a possibility for the child. He sure sounds freaked out to me.


And of course, mommy LEAVING is what would freak a kid out more than anything else on earth.


I, too, am very sad that you can't get treatment until February. Are you sure you can't afford private therapy for a time? Sell a TV set, or a car or move to a smaller house? I mean, what's more important - all that stuff, or mommy's mental health? Think about it, anyway.


ALSO, you SHOULD be able to get some help from a counsellor. If your background is Christian or Jewish, go to a minister, priest or rabbi and ask to meet weekly with him or her. I'm a minister, and I would do that with anyone who's that upset. If your minister or rabbi won't, then move on to another one!


There are WAYS to address this problem, and I'd suggest you get right on it!


Good luck!

[kentuckygalrk]

Okay, I was just wondering because I know if it's an egg allergy then it can occur not just from eating eggs, but from eating anything that has eggs in it too... I'd definitely talk to the daycare though... see if he ever mentions feeling ill there.


I'm really wondering if it's not the anxiety too... little kids truly pick up on every emotion and if you are scared and anxious about Fridays and the weekends, then perhaps he is too.


I just hate that you are going through this... and I really hope that there is someone out there who can help you and help your son... because you both need each other. You are family!


good luck, I'm definitely thinking of you!
~Rachel

[mommyof3]

Karen, my anxiety is high from all of this.


There is something really wrong with your son. If one of my kids was sick like this and I couldn't get them into their pediatrician, I would take them to the emergency room. He could have any number of things wrong with him. A bacteria from that water he drinks, ear infection (doesn't he swim?), food poisoning, strep throat. Take him in, please. He could have colitis. You also need to keep him home from school.


Sorry to be so blunt but I am so worried about that child. I agree with Sage, it could very well be anxiety, but either way he needs to see a dr.!

[hollyjean]

Hi pooky i hope you and your son are feeling better today. Where abouts in the UK do you live? Does your town have a community mental health clinic? There is one in my town and they arranged to see me extremely quickly as an emergency earlier this year, maybe there is one in your town? Maybe you can contacta charity such as mind to help you until you can get a psychology referal, i know how bad the waiting list is on the nhs, i was on it when i got the emergency referal. Do you or your husband work for a big company? I know that many companies will offer councilling, i can get it from pizzahut if i want it, it may be worth finding out.


I really hope your anxiety is better today and that your son is feeling better, it must be so hard for both of you, you may not feel it, but you are incredibly strong and you can get through this.

[gubba]

KAREN....I need to tell you something I forgot.


Yesterday when i was with my child at his Dr. I told his Dr. about my anxiety and EMET problem. He pulled me aside at the end of the visit giving my son off to a nurse there. he told me that kids, especially ones this age..our sons are the same age..pick up on our actions and turn them to themsleves. For example, when my son would start to look like V* when he was coughing so badly, I would panic a little even though I thought it was inside, i do know i went and grabbed towels and lysol etc. the Dr. told me that type of panic on my part, actually induces him to feel worse and it is just a constant reminder over and over that I am jittery about V* and he is too. I figured he was right.


I DO NOT WANT MY SON TO BE AN EMET!!!!


I said that all day, over and over yesterday and when he would V* from his cough which was very often, I didn't even pay attention and I would clean it up after he had gone on to the next thing. I know he is not contagious and neither is your son.


PLEASE GET HIM TO A DOCTOR.

[gubba]

Karen,


Are you out there today? You better be posting in soon so that we know you are o.k. and your son is too. You can do this. I wish we could all be there for you, but we are here for you and while my son was s* this week, everyone here was so great. Use us, we want to be here for you. We can get you through this one step at a time.

[pookey30]

Hello everyone !


I'm here and so is my 13 year old niece. She is so good. If I go upstairs to the loo or anything she offers to come with me incase my son gets up. She knows how I cant even go up there without panicking.


I took him to the doctors today and he asked if he gets a temperature when he v*. I said no and the doctor says that it isnt a bug. He says that his gastric intestines are probably swollen. He has given him some medicine that should help. I explained about the water at the nursery. He said he would like to get the water tested. I am going to take bottled water in for him.


He difinately is not okay. He asked to go to bed even though my neice is here.Normally he comes back down after getting ready for bed but he got ready and got into bed. This is not him. He kept sitting on the loo too. He is always pale looking and is dark around the eyes. He really isnt well. Everyday he complains he feels ill. It is normally in the evening when he has eaten during the day. What is wrong with him? I cant help feeling that the doctor is wrong. I know I will be taking him back.


Thanks for all your support everyone. I got some of that rescue remedy stuff today. Dont know if it will work but I will try anything.


I'm going now as he has just got up and got into my bed. I wont be able to go in there now. I will either sleep on his bed or on the sofa.


I am so tired. I only had 4 hours last night. I havnt slept in my bed for 3 nights now.


Going, trying to get some sleep.


Thanks again


Karen


xxx

[bexcelica]

thats so good to hear! get some sleep, and hoepfully the medicine will
be working by tomorrow morning. GOOD LUCK and you can do anything you
put your mind to. so you dont need to leave if something does happen

[tayda]

My heart goes out to you, you must be so scared. I hope your little does better with the medication. I'm glad you were able to get your neice to stay with you.

[kentuckygalrk]

Aww... I'm so sorry to hear that he's still feeling poorly... but I'm so proud of you for still being there. You are so incredibly brave!


I'm glad that you were able to get him in to the doctors and I really hope that the medicine they've given him helps. I also totally understand your concern thatit is something else and that the doctor's diagnosis is wrong... studying to work with kids who are seriously sick I can tell you that responsible parentsknow that doctors are not always right the first time... andsometimes, not even the second or thirdtimes. Some illnesses are incredibly hard to diagnose and can take many trips to the doctor, but a diligent parent, who truly believes something is wrong will keep going back until the child is better or a correct diagnosis is made. So until you're satisfied that they've found the right reason for your son's illnesses, and until he's feeling better... then keep taking him back.


If they test the water and it's found to be okay then I would highly recommend they do a detailed blood test to check his blood counts. And then perhaps a visit to thestomach/intestinal specialist. He just needs to get to feeling better poorlittle thing!


I can tell you are truly worried about him and you want to be a wonderful mother and you are working so hard... you just have to keep working! Stay strong and know that we are all here for you 150%


You are in my thoughts!
~Rachel