CONVENIENT???

[x hannah x]

I wanted to stop the hypnotheraphy I'm having at the moment because I don't think it's working for me, but when I told mymum shegot angry and said "Of course you don'twant to carry on because it might actually help you, andyou wouldn't be able to get all the attention and have exuses not to do things, quite convenient really" How can she actually think that? This phobia is the worst thing in my life, how could anyone, ever think it was convenient? I know my own brain and I know hypnotism isn't working for me, I want to try other things because I really want this gone, why can't she understand that?


Edited because I wrote my my instead of my mum, my mum said this, not the hypnotherapist.Edited by: x hannah x

[meercat]

That was totally uncalled for!! What the hell!!! They obviously have no idea how it feels being an Emet!!!
I am SO sorry you had to hear that, and from a "so called" PROFESSIONAL at that!! That's something you'd hear from maybe a family member or friend who has no idea what having a real FEAR is like. Those ppl you can usually take it from cuz you know they just don't "get it", but i wouldn't take it from a therapist or Dr. who you're PAYING to help you!!!!

If you ask me, (and i know you didn't lol) i'd say it's time you find another therapist! One who at least knows the meaning of the word COMPASSION!!!!!

Sorry...but that really ticked me off hearing what you said. I can feel your hurt and frustration and i totally sympathize!

Paula

[liriodendron]

Tell her your insurance policy was cancelled by the provider.

[eekelsey]

Wow, this is a therapist?She should be stripped of her license.I
understand the concept that people don't want to do the emotional
"work" of overcoming a fear, but to be told that your fear is about
attention is the most inconsiderate thing I have heard in a while.Hang in
there, do the therapy, but with another therapist.

[x hannah x]

Wow I can't write, my mum said this, not the therapist.

[staciekini20]

Sounds like smething my mother would say, it's just because no one unless, they have another phobia can know what it feels like until it happens to them....My mother doesn't understand and she can't understand why I can't go places because the fear takes over my brain and she doesn't undertsnad why sometimes it is hard to be around my daughter or anyone else if I think they might be sick or just get sick!

[eekelsey]

Ahhhh... well we can't expect normal people to be held to the standards
of professionals, but you should try talking to your mom in a rational
way... when my mom said the same thing, I told her very calmly that I was
a terrific, outgoing individual and that there were plenty of other, healthy
ways for me to get attention.That, I think, is what convinced her I
needed help.

[bexcelica]

my boyfriend said a similkar thing to me.. he said that i dont want it
to go away. i cried when he said that. how could you WANT this?????? I
am so sorry that she said that, it hurts a lot. we all know you dont
want this and that its not convenient.

[japa]

You should tell your mom that you want to quit the hypnotherapist but not therapy altogether. Ask her to find you a cognitive and behavioral therapist that you can work on exposure therapy with. Then, she'll see that you don't want to quit looking for a cure, just quit hypnotherapy.

[s0ccer_princess]

My family are like this. I tried to express how relieved I was to my parents about finding this website a few months ago, and finding other people with this, and they don't understand. They don't realisehow much better already it feels to beable to say: "I have emetophobia" rather than "I am scared of being sick".

They just think I'm putting a name to something mundane [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img], I'm already a bit of a hypochondriac which doesn't help hehe.

My parents blamed me when I constantly said to them I felt sick, and cried when I didn't feel like eating at mealtimes. They said I was taking so much time up with pathetic attention seeking. In the end, after so many consecutive weeks of nausea, they got me Pepto Bismol as per recommendation by the pharmacist, and that actually made me ill..

In the end, this nausea was there so much, I learned not to tell my paents about it. In fact, it's such a large part of my life, this always feeling sick, and I spend so much time thinking about it, I have to remind myself that my parents don't know how sick I feel. So when I ask to go to the doctor and they tell me it's nothing, I remember they don't know I feel sick every single second.

It's a strange thought, knowing that your parents aren't even aware of something which is so life dominating.

[meercat]

OHHHHHHH that was my mistake...i misread what you said...sorry! I thought it was your therapist that said that...oops!!! Unfortunately i'm not surprised to hear it was your mom that said it...family is usually the first ones who just "don't GET IT!" I am just sorry that you have to go through this.

[shiva]

Don't get upset by what I say here, I'm just thinking maybe if you saw your mom's side it might help. She's more than likely tremendously frustrated because she wants her child to be happy and productive and she probably thinks that something she has done has made you this way. I am sure that her tone and the things she says are totally out of frustration. She just wants you to get better. You should be happy that she wants to help you get better. My parents were against me getting any kind of therapy, all I got was a get over it! So, in a way I think it's great that they are involved in helping you.


Now.. Hypnotherapy (and any kind of therapy really) is one of those things that if you believe it isn't working.. If you aren't feeling it.. It's not going to work. So time and money is being wasted. I agree with what Japa said about letting your mom know you are not giving up, but just want to try new angles. I think it's big of you to admit that it isn't working for you.


Now, here's the biggy. Could there possibly be something to what your mom said? Sometimes we get so involved in ourselves that we don't realize what we are doing. Sometimes it can be more easily seen from the outside than when we see it ourselves. When I think really retrospectively about this phobia and detach all of my emotions to it, I would have to agree about myself what your mom said to you. I know that there is something in me that holds on to this.. For convenience or whatever, I know that I must be purposely not getting better. Not that it really helps to just know that, but try not to be so mad at her. I am sure she didn't mean to hurt you.


And on the other hand. Sometimes people need tough love and other times people need emotional support. I do see a correlation between most of us and having a lack of emotional support by some kind of significant person or people in our lives, so your mom's behavior may be perpetuating your emet in a way, so that sucks. I think you need to find a good behavioral therapist and sometime after she understands you, have your mom in on a session so that she can maybe better understand you as well...


I hope that all makes sense.

[sunshine16]

Hm. I had
hypnotherapy. QUITE useless really, So nothing to feel bad about.
Anywy, We have to be at least a tad understanding: these people are NOT
Emets, and so therefore will never identically comprehend what emotions
we experienced. At the same time, that IS uncalled for. I guess you
must see it both ways.</font>

[samara's on tv]

I know how you feel. I sent my mother some information on the phobia and the FIRST thing she said to me was "Why are you blaming me for this?" And I just sent her information...that's IT! She thinks that it's just a thing that I have complete control over except I won't control it because I want attention. Like the other day I was telling her about how I don't like to eat at resturants because of my emet and she said it has nothing to do with Emet it has to do with being paranoid. People don't know what they are talking about and I HATE that. If they actually HAD the phobia maybe they would actually UNDERSTAND that we don't want to LIVE with it...and that we don't MAKE THINGS UP just because we want ATTENTION!


~Monica

[wing]

Oh yes, I understand that. Sometimes it hurts when they say things like that. My sister got sick on Halloween. Oh boy, I was crying and hanging onto my mom lol..but even though my mom says she understands, when that happens its like "What are you doing? You're actingridiculous. Stop it. Geez, when willyou get over this" and stuff like that. Yes, she totallyunderstandsme.[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]After I calm down she comes to me and tells me she understands me. It just makes me somad. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'd feel really bad if someone accused me of wanting attention. (I'm a social phobic, why would I want attention? O.o) But I get what you're saying. Edited by: wing