You might be an Emet if.....

[shiva]

LOL! I love this post! It's halarious. The coupon thing reminded me...


You might be an emet if you have a panic attack while cutting cupons because when you see the ones for pepto you assume IT must be going around bad and the cupon people are cashing in.


AND


You might be an emet if you assume IT is going around when the grocery store places stomach meds on the end cap and puts them onsale.. AND as you walk by that end cap, you hold your breath.

[happyteacher]

You might be an emet if:


1. You are caught running a marathon down the street from a party with questionable events


2. You have a stomach pharmacy in your purse at any given time and all of your coworkers know it.


3. You get jumpy and/or hide behind pillows frequentlywhile watching reality t.v.

[crystalmom]

OMG....this has got to be the best, laugh at ourselves thing I have ever seen! And, boy are we good at it....hope these was weren't taken


You MIGHT be an emet if....


You remember exactly which sheets were on your bed when you v*ed at age 6.


You absolutely have to be the closest one to the bathroom at all times, including sleeping.


You keep all rooms lit, so you can see if you feel n* in the middle of the night.


You clean your toilet, not b/c it's dirty, but b/c what if you v* and have your head in a yucky toilet.


When Vim thick bleach came out, you thought it was a gift from God.


While cleaning, you constantly check to see if there may be a pinprick sized hole in your rubber gloves.


You can't be in a middle isle seat at a concert or hockey game.


You drink Ginger Ale like it was water.


I can't think of anymore right now, but I bet I will!


Love this....Crystal

[k8te]

You might be an emet if you've threatened to leave your drunk friend on the side of the road, rather than let him/her ride in your car and possibly v*.

[kate1966]

[img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]You might be an emet if::::::::: Your husband who has been working 3rd shift for many many years...and you already have panic attacks every single night thinnking what if my kids get sick during the night and I am the only one here.......gets offered 1st shift FINALLY and you know he will be so much better off.........but you still freak out now b/c if your kids get sick at sick at school........i will have to be the one to go pick them up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is sad

[jennyleigh1975]

Kate, lol!!!! I think the same thing about my husband being on night shift.

[smaupi]

you might be an emet if the number 1 thing you worry about while giving birth is being n* or v*ing.


you might be an emet if you drill your preschooler everyday on who was not at school and why


you might be an emet if you turn down a playdate with a friend because her kids were v* 2 weeks ago and what if there are germs on their toys


you might be an emet if you have to cover your ears and run fast if your cat coughs up a hairball


you might be an emet if you throw away any clothing you or your family was wearing when the sf hit your house because even if you wash them, they are tainted with a bad omen

[dreamincolor]

This is absolutely hilarious, I have laughed at so many "what if" just because I do all these things myself and realize how ridicuous I am.


If you get up in the middle of the night and go sleep in a different room because your hubbies tummy gurgled, you might be an emet.





If you are driving down the road and see a car pulled over you make a quick glance to "check", and then continue looking in your rear view mirror for a mile, you might be an emet.





While dining at a buffet you always dig to the bottom for a fork because the ones on top may have been contaminated and the ones on the bottom have had time for germs to die, you might be an emet.





If you don't let your kids go play at their buddies house until 3 months have passed since they had the sv, you might be an emet.





If you dont' allow others kids to spend the night in case they v, you might be an emet.





If you avoid the medicine isle at the store and hold your breath as you walk past it, you migth be an emet.





If you inspect every can food you open, and smell it just to be safe, you might be an emet.


If the thought of asphyxiating on lysol sounds good to you, you might be an emet.





If you save the large margarine tubs just in the event you might need one, you might be an emet.





If you have a large margarine tub stashed just under your bed, you are definately an emet!

[meercat]

You KNOW you're an Emet when...


You walk into a parking meter cuz you're too busy staring at a spot on the sidewalk, hoping it wasn't "that!"...

You nearly plow over someone's front yard while driving cuz your too busy looking in your rear view mirror checking out the car that's pulled off the side of the road 2 blocks back...

You hate a certain shade of color (that never bothered you before) cuz in the 4th grade someone in class V*ed that color from admittedly eating BooBerry cereal...

You'll NEVER eat BooBerry cereal again...

You never feel the same (as you once did) about a life long friend after they V*ed in your presence...

No matter what public place you go to, you always know where all the exits and bathrooms are...

You take Dramamine for a 10 minute ride...

You remember the names and faces of ALL your grade school classmates who V*ed in class (from kindergarten thru graduation!)...

[crystalmom]

You might be an emet if....


you know every form of possible stomach remedies.


you will try ANYTHING, even the most craziest thing, to get rid of your emet.


you keep a night light in the bathroom, so that you never have to be ill in bright light.


you dropped out of college, b/c you v*ed at school, and could never return.


you are more devested that you v*ed at school, than being held up at gunpoint.

[bexcelica]

You are more worried about the v*** side effects of Chemo than the actual cancer



AHAHAHHAHAHAH THAT IS THE BEST BECAUSE I THINK THAT WAY ALL THE
TIME!!!! here are some i could think of, I didn't read everyone's so if
I repeat, sorry...



You know you're an emet if....

...your boyfriend calls and said he was really dizzy and n* because he
has a concussion, but you still question him "how are you now?""does
your stomach hurt""are you going to throw up?" and still worry you may
get sick



...your boyfriend calls and said he is so sick with a sore throat. and
even though you havent seen him in over a week and wont see him for
another 4 days, you get worried you might v* from him. even tho he
didnt v* or wasnt n* at all



... you wont leave the house without anti anxiety meds



.... wont leave the house without stuffing a huge bottle of water into your bag just incase you feel sick while youre out.



.... you chose your career choices around "how often will i see
people get sick" or "how often will i be around sick people" over "how
much will i get paid" or "will i be giving something to the community
by doing this?"





im sure ill have many many more

this is th ebest thing ever

[bexcelica]

If you got sick wearing your dads nightmare before christmas boxer shorts, and now wont watch the corpse bride

[crystalmom]

you might be an emet if....


you were chronically constipated as a child, b/c you refused to "go" thinking if you did, you'de v*.


you thought the only times you could actually v* was between the hours of 3am and 5:30am


if your kid wakes up in the middle of the night, you assume he will v* and put a gazzilion towels around him, just in case.

[smaupi]

you might be an emet if...


the first thing you do on an airplane is check for the airsick bag at your seat and get nervous when it's not there thinking that someone in your seat has recently v*.


you might be an emet if you own more than one medical journal/dictionary and read them on a regular basis.


you might be an emet if you won't feed your kid cheeto's for fear of having to clean up that v* that is that orange color.

[smaupi]

Oh, and I thought of one more...





You might be an emet if you have ever threatened to divorce your husband if he watches one more second of "fear factor"

[hollyjean]

You might be emet if you chose to do a medicine related degree course then wonder what the hell you were thinking!



You might be emet if you used to horse ride and ran screaming from a
horse that coughed even though you know it is physically impossible for
a horse to v*.



You might be an emet if you have memorised the incubation periods for
most food poisoning bacteria......or any form of virus for that matter

[eekelsey]

You might be an emet if your boyfriend looks lovingly in your eyes, asks
you what you're thinking about and the answer is "vomit."

You might be an emet if you've ruined one or more friendships because
you wouldn't taste your friend's "tuna surprise".

You might be an emet if you think a granola bar is a sensible dinner.Not
the whole thing though.

[kel12347]

You might be an emet if.....


Someone breaks into your house and attempts to sexually assault you (true story, unfortunately), and after they run away, all you can think is that "I hope I won't vomit from this."


Your b/f says, after the assault incident that the only way the guy could have scared you was to vomit on you.


You run to a hotel and cry to your mother hysterically on the phone for three hours because your house smelled like vomit, when in reality it was just the peppers that your boyfriend pickled that night.


All true, unfortunately. I love this thread.

[bexcelica]

You might be an emet if your boyfriend looks lovingly in your eyes, asks

you what you're thinking about and the answer is "vomit."

that is priceless lol

[pretty polly]

You know you might be an emet if you would rather that your dearly
loved husband stayed at ANYONE elses house (even a gorgeous long
legged blonde) if he is drinking more than 2 glasses of something
alcoholic, rather than come home to you, just in case he might be
drunk!

You know you might be an emet if you have to wash your hands
after reading a library book because you can just feel those V*
germs climbing up your fingers!!

You know you might be an emet if you haven't changed your
daughters bedding for over 3 weeks because you keep telling
yourself that the minute you do she'll v* on it and then you'll only
have to change it again!!

Ye gads we are all numpties!!! (But good ones!)

[carmagnet]

I'm having a poopy christmas and just had to laugh.

[carmagnet]

You, know when I was a kid I thought for some strange reason that if I pooped and peed at the same time I would get sick sometime in the next few days. I think I might be an emet....

[stephiewephie05]

you might be emet if you avoid going anywhere on the anniversary of the day you last v*ed. </span><br style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hope i didn't repeat. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]</span></font>

Edited by: stephiewephie05

[suze]

You might be an emet if:


you still can't walk over the patch of carpet your son v*d on, despite using every known carpet cleaner and disinfectant every day for a week. Hell, it's so bad you just buy a new carpet!


you won't put your kid in theclotheshe v*d over as those germs may lie dormant in the fibres and /or those particular clothes are jinxed!![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[lilyann]

You might be an emet if:


You won't finish watching a movie/TV showif there is a v* scene because you are so disgusted and must turn the channel!!

[NCsmile6]

Oh my gosh, you guys! This is the funniest thing I have ever read!!! [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]But it's so true!!!


I have a few additions to the list myself:


You might be an emet if you put teaching elementary school out of the question because of one reason and one reason only...the little kids tend to get sick very often. (True Story)


You might be an emet if you know every single euphemism for the v* word from here to Timbuktu just in case somebody tries to slang it past you.


You might be an emet if you just about have a heart attack when someone beside you suddenly bends down or abruptly leaves the room all of a sudden. (They could be you know what-ing)


You might be an emet if you have a sixth sense about when someone is going to be sick when watching TV or a movie, and you urge the person watching with you to change the channel, (of course they don't because that's ridiculous) only a few seconds before someone indeed gets sick,(luckily you manage to look away) only to impress others by your prowess.


You might be an emet if you go into the whole 20+ questions deal when someone tells you they have been sick. (who, what, where, when, why, how, what were you doing, what do you think caused it, how did you deal, etc.)


You might be an emet if someone tells you they were sick the other day, and you ask them why, and you breath a (hopefully inaudible)sigh of relief when they say it was a cold or something un-v* related.


You might be an emet if you automatically want to star/censor the word whenever you have to use it in any other context. (For a school report, etc.) (True Story)


You might be an emet if you have several "self-remedies" that youproceed to practice when you feel sick, or advise others todo soif they feel sick,to stop from doing "the deed."


You might be an emet if you almost cried or actually did cry when you found out there were others like yourself out there.