Unacceptable.....

[nicole15]

I just found this site a few days ago. I have been an emet all my life. I am much better now, but I remember this very specific moment a few years back where this man had collapsed on the street and I couldn't help him. I'm was trained at the time in CPR and First Aid, but I was so scared that he might v* that I could only "hover" nearby to make sure others were helping. I was so angry at myself. I kept thinking that this man was someone's son or father and how I would feel if someone who could have helped a member of my family didn't because they were afraid he would sneeze on them or something (another simple function that our body performs in order to rid itself of something harmful - and something I would think a person was CRAZY for being afraid of).

Reading all these stories over the past few days has made me more determined to beat this totally. It makes me so sad that there are so many people, like me, who have compromised living a full and adventurous life because of something that the rational part of me knows is not really anything to fear. Even the smallest compromise should be unacceptable. Turning down the smallest possibility for adventure, or love or fullfillment should be unacceptable.

I strive for the day when the fear of v* plays no part in ANY of my decision making.

[liriodendron]

Can you give me some eamples of what those adventures might be?



I feel like I might be missing out but I can't think of anything I'd
rather be doing than the things that I already do. I don't mean to be
sarchastic here. There's some cases of people wondering if they should
go to med school etc, but the only adventurous thing that you won't
find me already doing is hanging out in airport restrooms and
steam-cleaning elementary school carpets. I might fly across the
country if that was more affordable but it is not so I aint doin' it.

[futuredr]

re: CPR.. when we did training, I remember the girl who was teaching us said she would never actually do it herself in an outdoor setting.It surprised me. Obviously she washappy to do life support in a hospital setting which is all'clean' and no mouth to mouth! Maybe she was an emet, but I doubt it, anyway even she felt she didn't want to risk getting anything in case the person v*, especially if you don't know the person and what they may have! So don't feel too bad about it. I think if the timecomes, even if you are an emet, you would do it if you needed to -certainly for a loved one. But don't feel bad about it.

[silver]

Nicole,


Welcome. I think that pretty much everyone here "beats themselves up" over things in the past when we can't help because we are afraid of someone v*. I know that a lot of mothers here feel awful because they can't help their children when they v*. I myself have literally ran away from friends that were v* and could use a compassionate back rub, slept in another room when my spouse was ill, etc. I think that punishing ourselves for these things is unfair and unjust. It just makes us feel worse for being the way that we are. I am also determined to get over this fear, but I know that I need to do it myself, by acknowledging the small victories with it and not getting angry with myself for the things that I "should" do. The fact that you were there and stayed around to make sure that person was ok...You are compassionate and caring....Try to forgive yourself and give yourself a break about it.

[nicole15]

Thanks Silver-

Reading over everyone's stories made me reflect on opportunities that maybe I had passed up (without even realizing it at the time) because of this fear. I have never done much travel (even though I've changed that in the last few years), and I think that my fear is a large part of why. But, my finance was sick on Tuesday with an SV and I stayed in the house and took care of him. I couldn't give the compassionate backrub (not there yet), but once upon a time, I would have packed my bags and stayed at a friend's house - not to return until all sheets, towels and surfaces had been washed down.

I've been a little freaked out the past few days that I will come down with it, but I'm trying really hard to just manage the fear and deal with it.

Liri-

All I was saying, about adventure, is that if you read the posts by the people who are members of this site, there are some of us that can't hold down jobs or relationships, can't travel or see friends because of this fear. It's great that you don't feel you're missing out, but for me, I don't want fear to prevent me from living as full a life as possible. I don't want to give up opportunities because of the prospect of getting sick. I had the opportunity to go to India a few years back, and while I made the excuse that I didn't want to spend the money or see such dire poverty, I think that the real reason I didn't want to go was because I was afraid of coming down with horrible food poisoning.

[liriodendron]

It's great that you don't feel you're missing out,

That's just the thing. I do feel like I'm missing out! And I don't know why.

I admit that I do things that make me comfortable with the phobia but I
if you asked me what I would do differently if SV and V* were suddendly
removed from the planet, and could eat anything or do anything, I
really struggle to think of what I'd do that's all that different.
Maybe I would sift through garbage cans to get food rather than buy it.
Maybe I would become very promiscuous. I just don't know.

[nicole15]

Well, I don't think you have to sift through garbage cans instead of buying. But I guess I'm just now realizing how much time, energy and stress goes into babysitting this fear. Who have I come into contact with? What did I eat that might make me sick? Who used my phone at work do they have a SV? What would happen if I got stuck in a car with someone who got motion sickness.......it takes a lot of time and I truly believe that stress takes it's toll on us in a million different ways. But I do agree with you, I'm not exactly sure what I'd do differently, mostly because i've had the fear for so long, that's it's simply become part of who I am. I can't even imagine not walking into a bar and scanning the entire room for who is so drunk that they might possibly *v.

[silver]

I know that I do limit things that I do...Skeptical of eating meat such as chicken at restaurants...Being able to comfort people that have a sv the way that I can comfort when they have a cold. I still work, travel, etc. But it DOES linger in my mind "what if I get sick, v*, etc" I feel the fear much of the time, but I make myself just do things anyways. Its not always easy though...


Nicole...Wait to go about staying with your boyfriend and not freaking out and leaving...That is very difficult to do with this phobia. Be proud of yourself for that, really, that is a great step. I think that people that don't have this phobia probably feel afraid that they might get it after being in close contact with someone that has had a sv...they just don't obsess the way that we do about it. (ie: eating small meals if anything at all, overwashing hands, changing clothes, etc.) You have made a very positive step against this..way to go!!

[nicole15]

Thanks Silver, for your words of encouragement. I am so much better that I ever have been and I will keep working on it everyday. I don't have kids yet, but I know I will do everything I can not to pass this along to them.

[raindrop]

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I know it prevents me from doing things. It prevents me
from travelling to exotic places, and it stops me from travelling
alone. It stops me from eating what I want. It increases my
stress levels. It makes me worry about the silliest things.
I've got an interview in January - it's for a placement that is for my
DREAM job, but I have to go to London on my own, and attend a
three-hour interview. I'm SOOO frightened that I'll feel really
sick, or v* or panic, or ruin my chances with this phobia. I
think I drive my partner crazy with it - I know I drive my family
crazy.... I hate emet.

[nicole15]

Raindrop-

You HAVE to go to London. I went to Ecuador last year and I was really frightened. I was so sure that I would get some sort of food poisoning or get stuck with someone in a car or bus that would have motion sickness. But I went and it was an amazing trip. I just decided to take it one day at a time - which sounds trite, but it worked for me. Plus, London is AMAZING. I know you can do this and that's what I've been saying to myself - I don't want to miss anymore opportunities because of this fear - even if I have to force myself. Have a wonderful holiday!!