IES Closing

**Rich** · 01-13-2006, 10:31 AM

Hi all,

Just to reiterate what i have said.

People keep saying why not use free hosting provider for the site..... Well its because this site has so many custom features and code that requires custom components written by myself.

FREE or cheap hosting providers limit you in such a way that you cannot use these components at all. (thats put simply)

So free or cheap hosting is out of the question.

[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

Oh and i have emailed this celeb just yesterday, but i havent had a response from heryet.

Anyway, the whole point im trying to make is: If we all chip in a small amount each month (for those that can afford to) just to cover the cost of the hosting, then that would solve a lot of problems.

We have 3836 members, im sure we could get enough people willing.

The thing is, its the regular monthly costs that are killing me, not just the current bill.

Many thanks to those for the recent donations, you know who you are!

If you cannot make a donation, then dont worry, really, this site will remain free regardless...

Regards,

John

**suze** · 01-13-2006, 11:46 AM

Sorry Margaret, I disagree. You don't get anything for nothing in this world, and those who can afford todonate even something smallfor this invaluable service, should think about doing so. And if you can't afford it, then so what, most who can would be happy to subsidise. I've just donated £20, it's not a great amount, it's probably what I'd usually spend going out to my local restaurant tonight, so I'm not going and have used the money for a far more worthwhile cause than my stomach! Small sacrifice, I'd say.

There are other forums out there, but they are nowhere near the standard of this one. I guess if you feel strongly about this, then try going elsewhere, you'll soon be back.

And as for John, OK so we don't know him, but he set up this site for us all, and without it many people would be suffering in silence. I'm the type who givesto beggars and the homeless on the streets, some tell me not to as it's only going to be spent on 'drugs'! Where's the faith and trust in this world? It's good to give, even if you get nothing in return, but I don't think anyone could say that about this site.

Sorry Margaret, nothing personal, I just feel differently.

**violet** · 01-13-2006, 12:45 PM

I completly agree with Suze, there are so many people who care about each other here,even if we are miles apart we are still trying to do something for each other you know.

I will be donating £5 which is all i can afford at the moment but id rather help and give what cash I have than sit here and watch all the people around me who understand me disapear.

I think that you should look at these forums Margaret and realise and what how many people have been helped by a few simple words, if you dont want to give money or help then thats up to you.

This is a comunity of people who need help no matter how much or how little we do,and its the help we get here and the understanding that we feel helps even a little.

I am not going to stand back and watch this fall through,the people here are to amazing.

xVx

**Rich** · 01-13-2006, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by Margaret

Well, to be honest, I don't like what is going on at all. I think it is very inconsiderate of John to send an email to all these (mainly young) girls to threaten they lose the site if they don't pay. I read some are getting anxiety. Thanks John for that.

Hi Margaret,

You are clearly twisting my words here, and frankly im offended by your opinion of me.

The site will go down on the 20th if the bill is not paid, but im not threatening people here, i will try my best to pay it with my salary when i get paid!

im merely asking members for a little help, is that so bad?

Regardless of anything, this site will remain free, and frankly, how is it inconsiderate? Should i just ignore the issue and let the server go down? Then on the 20th members have no site and no reason for it.

Please, if you are going to be negative, do it some place else!

John

**trixie** · 01-13-2006, 01:26 PM

Here Here!

**babygap5** · 01-13-2006, 01:48 PM

WELL SAID JOHN. I JUST DONATED, YOU HAVE STARTED A WONDERFUL SITE FOR ALL OF US EMETS WHO ONE DAY WILL BEAT IT AND WE WILL HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR HELPING US!!!

**soluene** · 01-13-2006, 01:59 PM

I will start by saying I don't know anything about webhosting or servers, how people maintain them, etc. So, I honestly don't know whether a request for money is legitimate. That is not to be offensive, I am saying I honestly don't know.

But I will support Margaret in that, you never really know what you are giving money to when you donate - just as Suze says about charitable donations going to drugs. I would not give money to a guy on the street, but I will give money to the Leukemia Society, a trusted organization. Obviously, lots of people give money to the guy on the street, though! So as much as I want to keep this site and help everyone, I am not comfortable donating money to a personal/individual paypal account - especially when I don't even know if enough will be raised to make the payment!

Sage always says NEVER trust drug or mental health advice you get on the internet. Support from friends is one thing, but when it comes to treatments, go to the professionals. I feel the same way here. As great as John has been to us (thank you!), I would much rather donate to a registered, legitimate charity.

I know that our emotions are all tied very closely with this site, but I still follow charity donating rules. If you have read this far and are interested in where I'm coming from, you can check out this site, which outlines the rules I follow: http://www.doj.state.or.us/ChariGroup/Tipswise.htm

Whether you give or not is clearly your choice! But in general, think before you give.

**shiva** · 01-13-2006, 02:04 PM

Jesus Christ!!!!! Considering the help this site has given me I don't see a problem at all with helping out a little bit. I think it's freaking insane that people would be wasting time being judgemental when our little community here is in jeopardy of disbanning. Why should John have to pay for us to use the site? I'm glad to help out.

Sine people are donating, I think it would be a good idea to keep count of how much is left that we need. I think that will get people donating more if they see the numbers going down and realize that the goal is realistic.

**donna1216** · 01-13-2006, 02:16 PM

John has been hosting IES for years, he founded it for crying out loud and has let all of us come here all this time--FREE OF CHARGE--and now he is asking for help so that he can help us in the end! If you don't want to help out, fine, but don't criticize him!! He's paying out of his own pocket and we're going to insult him?? That's wrong!! I've been coming here for 3 1/2 years and I feel so guilty that the $15 I donated today is all I could give!!!

I have 3 SMALL children who have a tendency to v* alot, I would have never ever made it through these last 3 years without everyone here and especially John and his generosity!! We owe him a thank you, not criticism.

**swiftette** · 01-13-2006, 02:20 PM

John, where can I send a donation? I can mailout $10.00 today-I know it is'nt much but mabey it'll be astart?

**curly wurly** · 01-13-2006, 02:20 PM

I could hardly sleep last night for worrying about this site closing. IES has been like a friend to me whilst my husband was working away and I was sitting at home very lonely andworrying about all sorts of things. People have been so friendly and I wish I had found the site much earlier. Since my husband arrived home a week ago I have been able to talk to him about my phobia properly for the first time without feeling like a complete freak. Before finding this site I did not have the confidence to do this. Everyone here seems so nice so I definately do not mind helping to keep the site running by donating what I can. I just hope IES will continue as we do need to keep helping and supporting each other.

**soluene** · 01-13-2006, 02:25 PM

My intent was not to insult him at all. I'm sure everyone here is honest. But I'm saying: I would not give money to an individualmember on this site who requested honest help for treatment for anxiety, instead I would donate to the registered anxiety charity. It does not mean the request was nothonest. I feel the same way about the website. That's my own feeling about giving money, no matter the situation. I just tend to be an overly cautious person. I apologize if you think I was being rude.Edited by: soluene

**Rich** · 01-13-2006, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by swiftette

John, where can I send a donation? I can mailout $10.00 today-I know it is'nt much but mabey it'll be astart?

Do you mean a cheque? Via SnailMail?

If you need an address just let me know.

John

**Galadriel** · 01-13-2006, 03:56 PM

What about members
who can paying say a dollar a month (if almost everyone was able to,
then that adds up fast) to help pay for the site?

It could be more per person, but with that many members each paying some, then it should work out.

</font></span>

**donna1216** · 01-13-2006, 04:38 PM

I agree with Galadriel, all of us could afford $1 a month--it's so worth it!!!

**lizzo** · 01-13-2006, 07:12 PM

I'm only 16, and I'll donate what I can! Except I don't have a credit card or anything so i don't know how I could donate ...

**samara's on tv** · 01-13-2006, 07:51 PM

This site just CAN'T close. Unfortunately I'm on a fixed income, as it is now my DAD pays for my internet service. I get 80 dollars a week and that's for food and cigarettes. As of RIGHT NOW I only have 1 dollar to my name. If I could help out I definately would. I hope John can come up with enough money to sustain the site. I don't know WHAT I'd do without it! Maybe I can ask my dad or mom for a donation...who knows they might do it for the sake of helping me.

~Monica

**gubba** · 01-13-2006, 10:25 PM

John...I post here often and I have recently slowed up just because I felt some people were rude and I can see now that there are so many that are. I think that you are so overly generous and I am sorry that anyone felt that you were wrong. How can any of us expect you to pay for this whole site alone? Can we all give a dollar a month and cover this? I am fearful of sending the money now and having it shut down, but if I knew there was some money coming in, I would love to help out with whatever I could to make this site stay around. I know when I have family that is sick, I come here instantly for support and I want to know it is here, so whatever we all can do, we need to do it...YOU should not be footing the bill for all of us.

Please let us know how much is coming in so we can know if it is close.

**Rich** · 01-13-2006, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by gubba

John...I post here often and I have recently slowed up just because I felt some people were rude and I can see now that there are so many that are. I think that you are so overly generous and I am sorry that anyone felt that you were wrong. How can any of us expect you to pay for this whole site alone? Can we all give a dollar a month and cover this? I am fearful of sending the money now and having it shut down, but if I knew there was some money coming in, I would love to help out with whatever I could to make this site stay around. I know when I have family that is sick, I come here instantly for support and I want to know it is here, so whatever we all can do, we need to do it...YOU should not be footing the bill for all of us.

Please let us know how much is coming in so we can know if it is close.

Thanks you for your nice comments!

As stated i will not let this site shut down, people need its support. Im only asking the people who can easily afford it to help ME a little, with the monthly costs. Im simply not earning enough to cover the site costs.

A total of funds donated so far is available as a news item on the main page.

Thanks again guys!

John

**violet** · 01-13-2006, 10:42 PM

John nice to see you around,I will be trying to give as much as I can.

I just want to say thank you for this site,you have done so much for people and you should be so proud.

I am especially annoyed of the people who are not wanting to support the site even if they can and being rude about it,we are just here to help each other and this is what we have all done for each other.

John thankx again,Im thinking about setting up a fund raising and awarenss day where I stay,il keep you posted.

xVx

**rileyl** · 01-13-2006, 10:50 PM

I just made a donation. I tried yesterday, butthere were issues with Paypal. It'sup and running today, though. Anyway, I was happy to make the donation and am willing to pay a monthly fee as well. This is a high quality site with wonderful and caring people on it.When one of my kids is sick, I depend on being able to reach out to the other mothers on this site.

**spilled_milk** · 01-13-2006, 11:03 PM

I really want to donate but as I'm only fifteen i can't send out for a check or money order...so i dont know how that's gonna work. would it work to send actual money in a card or something?

<3 Anya--

**Margaret** · 01-14-2006, 12:11 AM

Hi all,

First of all let me state that it's okay you don't agree with me. I didn't expect you too. I feel like some of you think I am rude expressing my opinion, but let me reassure you: that's not what I want to be. English is not my mother language, so it is diffucult for me to express my feelings in the right tone of voice. So if I was, than I appologize.

I am just saying that I think John's message seems like a panicking reaction to a high bill. The same that he gave last year. And the same that will come over and over again, I expect.In my opinion this panicking reaction is not good because firstly the people get frightened because of it, and that's not an emotion you want your emet members to have.Secondly this panicking reaction is not good because it isn't a long term sollution.

I never said he should pay the bill alone. I just think there are other and better sollutions than to send an email like this.

I hope I have stated my opinion better now. Edited by: Margaret

**tink** · 01-14-2006, 02:30 AM

I am very grateful that John sent out that email. It just shows that he is a very thoughtful person. He is giving us warning that the site may close down. By doing that, he is giving us the oppurtunity to help out. There is no other way to give us that oppurtunity but to send out an email like he did, asking for help IF we can. He could have just let it go and shut it down, and we would have no way of knowing what happened, or having a method of contacting each other. This way, we have the oppurtunity to help make it right. I cant think of any better way to go about dealing with this than he did..

So give a little if you can, if you can't thats OK too. We are a supportive community and I believe that we will come together and support our founder. He has done a great deal for us all. If not with money, with our thoughts and kindness.

--Kim

**wing** · 01-14-2006, 02:41 AM

I'm with Lizzo and Anya, I'm only 16 so no credit card ^^... Any other way?

**gubba** · 01-14-2006, 02:53 AM

I just sent my money via pay pal and I am glad to help with what I can. This site is too important for so many of us to shut down, so we need to all do what we can. I do understand that many on here are too young to donate and that is fine. I don't think that you should donate if you aren't earning a living. We are all here to help one another and that is what it is all about.

John, Thanks in advance for your hard work and efforts to keep this up. Obviously, you are doing it right since there are so many people who depend upon this safe place.

**giff1949** · 01-14-2006, 03:49 AM

Gubba,

I'm with you. I don't think these young people who are not out earning a living should make a contribution. They really don't have the means and should not feel badly if they cannot contribute. A day will come later when they will be able to help someone else out.

So, those of you who are not able to help out financially, please don't feel bad. I'm sure John knows you would if you could.

There are enough of us who are able to help out now. If those who can, just give a little, it should add up to enough.

Just my opinion.

Debbie

**Galadriel** · 01-14-2006, 06:18 AM

Well said Debbi!</font></span>

**NCsmile6** · 01-14-2006, 08:34 AM

Oh my GOSH!!!!!!! IES can't close!!!! It's like my second home, and a safe haven for so many people on here!!! I will do my best to donate some money. We're a bit tight right now, but I'll see what I can do!! IES CANNOT go down!!! [img]smileys/smilies_16.gif[/img]I can't imagine not being in contact with all of you wonderful people! It just breaks my heart!

**gubba** · 01-14-2006, 04:10 PM

There are so many posts going for this fund that it is difficult to keep up, but we should be getting close to the amount needed for now since i have seen so many of us reach out. Hopefully there will be an update so we can see if we are close

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