IM VENTING! WATCH OUT!

i should add:

my current (new) doctor treats my (new)counselor.
my counselor suggested the doctor to me..
regardless, they are in cohoots with each other.
they have even discussed me and he asked her whether she wanted to go the cognital route, or meds..and SHES the one who suggested zoloft!

the worst part of this to me..is that you pick counselors because on their info sheets they say they treat with behavioral modification or attitude changes or thinking changes or blablabla.. and then the first thing that pops out of their mouth is .. "you need to take bla and bla"... i had only seen her once for an HOUR and shes telling my doctori need zoloft? she hasnt delved into me at ALL.

im not depressed, and if i am ... its cause and effect. you hit stressful points in your life and they bring you down. when the stressful points end, you go back up. im currently on the up but they dont care because they dont ask.
they just give me a generic questionnaire to fill out and then count up the numbers and say "OH CRAP LIZ... this paper right here says you're anxious and depressed!"

in fact, them telling me that im so depressed& anxious that i need meds sort of sickens me.. it makes me feel like "hey, maybe i SHOULD feel more sad and upset since i apparently am?".. its just absurd!

ive not met ONE SINGLE doctor or counselor or psychologist who truly delves into who you are. your personality. your past. your current. how you react to things how you feel about things. why you react certain ways. how certain things make you feel, and why.

its all a joke. but maybe i just havent found the right people.
the only progress ive made has not come from counselors or doctors..
its come from my own research, my taking this fear into my own hands, my own ways of relaxation and stress relief, and jesus, my faith.honestly.

drugs arent the answer. im absolutely convinced.
from what ive been reading about antianxiety/antidepressants..
most people on them just live a very JADED life.. nothing effects them.. they're just walking clouds with no emotion...they may not be anxious or sad but they're not feelin anything else either!

or they gain tremendous amounts of weight.
or it effects their bowels..or sex life..
or a plethora of other things.

why do that to yourself?
where are the professionals who want to be in it with you for the long haul? people who will take inventory on you. who want to CHANGE your way of thinking! change negative into positive.

im convinced WE(you as in you, me as in me) are the onlypeople who can really do it.
waging war on our minds.not losing the battle!
you CAN change your way of thinking.i believe it! anxiety comes from within you. YOU are making yourself anxious. YOU are causing yourself stomach problems. YOUhave allowed negative thinking to overtake you. take account for yourself and halt it! refuse to believe any of the negativity and WHAT IFS that come into your head! i just heard the other day that 99% of what happens in our life is in our heads..and only 1% of it is actually physical, meaning we're actually doing it.
isnt that interesting?!