It really comes down to what you want to believe about your phobia and how and where it really started. It sounds like your therapist's viewpoints are very Freudian in nature. It also sounds like your therapist is looking for a "trauma" to base your fear upon, when in reality - there might not be any trauma to place blame on or find reason within. Her viewpoints on phobias might be something you want to seriously consider because if you don't believe that it is "rooted in trauma or attachment", then you need to see someone else.


Her viewpoint is very stereotypical - I have worked at counseling centers and have met many, many therapists. One thing I learned by working around them (and going through some therapy of my own during high school) is that you have to know where your therapist's viewpoints are coming from - meaning, what basis is she using for her therapy with you. Some therapists use a very religious theme to their treatments and others use a very anti-god and anti-spirit treatment; others believe everything is connected with something sexual and yet others will say it is a combination of things.


I believe that some stuff just happens and there isn't any rhyme or reason or explaination for it right now. Sometimes accepting the fear as real and genuine is the first step in overcoming and working through the experience.


Whatever you do: Don't let your therapist put the idea in your head that you were some how "traumatized" at 3months old unless this is something you are willing to explore and have the ability to explore with concrete facts. Don't let a therapist put any explaination for something in your head that defies your logic. Remember, some therapists have been known to convince their clients that they were sexually abused when they really weren't and some therapists have been known to "create memories" because that is all they talk about and focus on with their client. Don't attempt to please your therapist by agreeing with him or her. Please yourself and work through this with their guidance, not with their leading you doubtfully/